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Bug-Man Flees Exploding Apartment Building

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By Chase Chapley

nrfp04The Verzatt Estates were rocked today by an explosion on the 6th floor as a man dressed as a bug flew away from the scene.  No one was reportedly injured.

Officer Joe Mantle was on the scene first.  “All I saw was what everyone else saw,” he said.  “A guy dressed as a bug flew out of the exploding building, followed by some giant flying bugs.”  As to whether the man caused the explosion, Mantle had no comment as the investigation was still ongoing.

The apartment that exploded belonged to a John Smith according to building owner Max Childress.  “I’ve only met him a couple times, and he had a clean record,” said Childress.  “The Verzatt Estates are some of the priciest apartments in the city, so we vet our tenants very carefully.  We don’t even know if Mr. Smith as involved in this.”

Apartments from the 4th to 8th floors were damaged in the explosion, but since it was the middle of the day, almost no one was home.  As for what caused the explosion, the NRPD is still investigating but has ruled out a gas leak since the building doesn’t use natural gas.  Likely, it was something related to “bug-man” specifically as policemen and firemen have been moving freely inside the building.

“We’ve searched the entire building for explosives,” said Officer Mantle, “and there isn’t anything there.  It’s safe to go in and around.  Weirdoes flying around dressed as bugs won’t stick out in this city, so keep an eye out.”