The New Romford Free Press

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Dinosaur Queen Captured by Adonis

By Chase Chapley

The NRPD has confirmed that Adonis has captured the Dinosaur Queen in Parkhill, putting an end to the “Dino-Day” nightmare.

I’m receiving word, and slowly video, that the Dinosaur Queen and Adonis were fighting mid-air.  She blasted Adonis down into the ground, crash landing somewhere in Parkhill.  When she gloated, as she is prone to do, he threw a car at her, as he is prone to do.  A few quick punches here and there, and the Dinosaur Queen was defeated.

News spread downtown, and everyone within five blocks loudly cheered the victory.  My colleagues hugged each other and then myself.  We New Romforders are a resilient bunch, but something about being transformed into a dinosaur and almost lose our humanity really did a number on us.

Charlene, if you’re reading this, I’ll see you when I get home.