The New Romford Free Press

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Welcome Our New Space Correspondent, Karna Firaliz

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By Chase Chapley

The New Romford Free Press started in 1976 with the purpose of bringing you the most important, well-informed news that affected the New Romford metropolitan area.  As we’ve grown over the years, our coverage has spread across the country and across the world.  Being the epicenter of superhuman activity has brought us many unique stories, and we do our best to report them as they happen, even if that’s difficult to do.  Whether it’s covering Atlantis, magical realms, giant monsters, or run-of-the-mill megalomaniacal supervillains, we will be there.

But there’s been one area that we have not covered because we’ve never been there.  It is space.  The increased superhuman activity on Earth has made interaction with species from other planets more and more common.  From the Zrat War of 1958 to the Winmac-Paternius X Research Pact of 1984, Earthlings have become important players in the cosmos.  The UN estimates that over 7,000 aliens now reside on our planet, and that number is expected to rise over time.

For the past few years, we’ve discussed how we should increase our coverage of other planets.  With advances in space communication, it is now possible to hear about events millions of light years away (albeit still with a time lag).  We tried devoting one reporter to space activities, but that became impossible with so many Earth stories to report.  We needed outside help.  We needed someone who lived on another planet.

It is with great pleasure that we here at the New Romford Free Press welcome our new Space Correspondent, Karna Firaliz!  Karna is a Minaxian journalist from the Ionnia Solar System within the Andromeda Galaxy.  Growing up on the planet Minax, Karna had a knack for writing about his daily events in his light journal, which would always upset his maternal unit.  (Minaxians, during his youth, were raised by cybernetic Minaxians rather than their birth parents.  This practice has been slowly discontinued in the last 30 Earth years.)

When he turned 543 in Minaxian years (about 23 Earth years), Karna entered Qorr Morr Lornirro, a prestigious university specializing in the light sciences, as much of Minaxian society is run on various wavelengths of light.  But Karna grew disinterested with his studies and began writing.  He joined a local news agency and moved his way up to Senior Editor at the Vro Gorr, a widely-read news service on Minax.  He also met his companion, Janorr, at the Vro Gorr and has three children with her.

Karna will be reporting for the Vro Gorr and for us as well using an English translator program developed by Dr. Amazing.  He has not visited Earth yet but has interviewed the Peace Force when they visited his planet in 1997 and 2002.  The Peace Force noted that his English was very good, but Karna will also rely on us to help him when needed.

Please welcome Karna Firaliz with open arms!  We can’t wait for his first report.

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