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Local Inventor Makes Reusable Anchors for Grappling Hooks

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By Julia Crumpleman

If you own a building in New Romford, especially a tall one, then you know the frustration of a superhero launching their grappling hooks into your roof.  The force needed to get a secure hold in the roof is enough to break masonry, and it often does.  Building owners citywide know the pain of having to repair their roves, but local inventor, Jared Hoffstetter, has a plan to save them money and headaches.

Enter the reusable roof anchor.  The anchor is a piece of concrete and malleable hard putty that can withstand the force of not just one but a hundred grappling hooks.

“Superpeople are just going to keep using your roof without bothering to ask,” said Hoffstetter, “so I thought, why not just give them something to hook on to?  It seemed like an obvious solution.”

The reusable anchor can be reused at least a hundred times with drill type grappling hooks and twice as many times with traditional hook-handed grapples.  It’s designed with a deep, yet sturdy well in the center, and it can hold up to 10,000 pounds.

“If you make the anchor point obvious for superheroes,” he said, “then they’ll use it.  They drill into you building’s concrete or use a flagpole, but those need to be replaced after a few tries.  Put a few of these on your roof, and it’ll pay for itself.  This will help the heroes and help the building owner.  Seems like a win-win to me.”

But not everyone is so thrilled about this product.  “It just feels like you’re inviting trouble,” said building owner, Margaret Han of Granite Tower on the corner of 35th Ave and 21st St.  “For some reason, my rooftop is a meeting point for a lot of superpeople already, and when that happens, fights inevitably break out.  I’ve replaced so many parts of my building that I just don’t see how this would help.”

Hoffstetter contends that his anchors would be used to facilitate superhero traffic rather than cause traffic jams.  “If you put a few of these along your roof,” he said, “then they’re going to just swing by.  Besides, they’re going to do it anyway.  Might as well lessen the damange.”