by Packie Williams
CARTERSON — The Muskrat, Headmaster of The Quinton School for Young Superheroes, solo adventurer, and Peace Force member, has long been one of the most active superheroes for the past 30 years. An advanced healing system and a superior learning ability have helped him master over 50 different fighting styles and nearly as many languages. He’s used his skills to defeat hundreds of supervillains and thousands of henchmen on Earth and across the galaxy.
While he’s a well-traveled hero, the Muskrat has never fought four separate supervillains on the same day, in different locations. The obvious question is how did he do it?
This morning at around 10:45 am EST, the Muskrat was seen fighting Superjock & Nerdboy with some fellow teachers and students at The Quinton School in Carterson. The supervillain team attacked the school for rejecting their admittance even though neither of them is a superhero and are both in their 30s. It’s reported that they claimed to be reformed, but that claim ran counter to their attack.
Then around noon EST, the Muskrat was seen fighting Lunar (pronounced Lu-NARRR), the Moon Pirate in New Orleans. Lunar was smuggling some unknown goods into the city when the Muskrat caught wind of his activities. The fight began at the docks but turned into a street chase through the French Quarter. The Muskrat was on his motorcycle while Lunar rode his motorboatcycle. Witnesses reported that the chase lasted until at least 1:30 pm EST (12:30 local time), concluding in an abandoned warehouse near the edge of the city. Muskrat and Lunar fought again, this time with a couple dozen pirate henchmen, ending in a massive explosion at around 2:10 pm EST. Lunar was turned over to the FBI by the Muskrat, who stayed for another half-hour to answer the authorities’ questions.
If that wasn’t enough, the Muskrat was also seen with the Peace Force in Rome fighting Julie Caesar, the supposed descendant of Julius Caesar, as she attempted a takeover of the Italian Capital Building. Using a mind control device, she was able to take over much of Parliament in an attempt to resurrect the Roman Empire. The Peace Force caught wind of the scheme and, with the Muskrat in tow, was able to fight back her robotic centurion army. The battle began at 2:15 pm EST (8:15 local time) and lasted for another three hours.
Naturally, the question is how did the Muskrat be in three separate places, thousands of miles apart, in one day. His travel methods have been the subject of many rumors over the years, most of them easily dismissed or disproven. The most common is that the Muskrat has a secret teleporting ability, but most experts believe he has access to a teleport machine courtesy of Dr. Amazing or the Peace Force.
“The counterargument to that theory,” said Juan Diego Montana, hypertravel expert with McDowell Aeronautics, “is that no other superhero has shown such a proclivity to being in multiple spots on the same day apart from known teleporters. Plus, teleporting machines are incredibly large and require huge amounts of power, which is why they’re not more common. And even the fastest of Peace Force jets get from New Romford to London in an hour.”
“Honestly,” said Diego Montana, “I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a dozen of Muskrats. Who knows how many clones of that guy are running around?” The Muskrat declined to comment on his travel arrangements or clone speculation.