By Dash Hamley
NEW YORK – According to sources, the NBA is considering a proposal to add an expansion team in Albuquerque, New Mexico, in order to be the only major sports league to have a team in every Four Corner state. Seattle is furious.
Currently, the NBA has a team in Phoenix (the Suns), Salt Lake City (the Jazz), and Denver (the Nuggets). Neither the city of Albuquerque nor the state of New Mexico has ever been home to a major sports team, while Seattle recently lost their NBA team (the Supersonics) to Oklahoma City in 2008. Seattle has been trying to get a team back ever since.
“This is an outrage,” said morning sports radio host, Mike Mallet, of Hamlet and the Mallet. “New Mexico? The NBA is seriously considering New Mexico over Seattle? What’s in Albuquerque except Walter White? That’s all that city is famous for. They might as well call it the New Mexico Methheads.”
Similar outrage rolled throughout the Pacific Northwest. The Seattle Times called this proposal “a travesty”, the Tacoma Rocket said this “was a smack in the face,” and somehow, the Space Needle made an obscene gesture with a light display. (No one is quite sure how this happened, but Space Needle officials are looking into it.)
Usually, when a sports league expands, it adds two teams to its roster to even out the schedule. The current proposal on Commissioner Adam Silver’s desk only lists the one expansion team with no mention of a second. The natural landing spot for a second expansion team would be Seattle, but the NBA has a penchant for teams settling in unusual spots.
“The NBA has a team in Utah and Oklahoma,” said Walt Kipling, sports writer at the Tacoma Rocket, “but no team in St. Louis, Kansas City, Pittsburgh, or Baltimore, all of which have NFL and MLB teams. They even have a team in Portland, Orlando, and Sacramento, I think, and these are markets the NFL and MLB aren’t in, so the NBA just goes wherever it wants.”
“Maybe they could call the New Mexico team ‘The Sonics’ just to tick Seattle off,” he added. “The NBA really likes to do that.”