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Feeling Pressure by Hardee’s and Pizza Hut, Dairy Queen Introduces Hot Dog Blizzard

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By Julia Crumpleman

MINNEAPOLIS – First, Hardee’s introduced a hamburger with a hot dog on it.  Then, Pizza Hut debuted a pizza with hot dogs in the crust.  Now, apparently feeling the pressure to compete, Dairy Queen has introduced a hot dog Blizzard.

“We realize this sounds odd,” said Dairy Queen VP of Marketing, Barry Westrum, “but hot dogs are the hot item today, no pun intended.  They’re the food of the summer, and for a limited time, we’re offering the Hot Dog Blizzard at participating locations next week.”

The Hot Dog Blizzard is just what it sounds like.  A cooked hot dog is diced and mixed into a cup of soft serve ice cream along with ketchup, mustard, and relish.  This unique offering already has people talking.

“Sorry, I almost threw up there just thinking about it,” said Alton Brown, host of Cutthroat Kitchen on the Food Network.  “I don’t even know how to react outside of utter confusion and disgust.  Why?  Why would someone do this?  I know we live in an era of experimentation and fusion, but my god, this is what you come up with?”

“Boy,” said Andrew Zimmern, host of Bizarre Foods on the Travel Channel, “I’ve eaten some truly wretched food around the world, most of which were actually pretty tasty.  But there’s no amount of money you can pay me to eat a Hot Dog Blizzard.”

As with any chain restaurant, new items are offered at participating locations, and thus far, only six locations nationwide are participating.  Dan Snyder, owner of a Dairy Queen in Springfield, IL, was the only owner to comment about his store’s offering.

“I figure we can make it work,” he said.  “We’re going to do a promotion where if you eat a large Hot Dog Blizzard in the store, we’ll give you a coupon for a free Blizzard and put your picture on the wall.  We’ll start a Hall of Fame.  [We’ll] make it an event.  I’m sure people will step up to the challenge.”

Interestingly, film director Werner Herzog tweeted this in response to the news.  “This mush of pig and cow milk is the terror man has wrought on Earth.  We deserve this as we are already dead inside.”

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