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Living Planet Gives Birth to Healthy Planetoid

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By Karna Firaliz

MARP QUADRANT, Andromeda Galaxy – The living planet, Marp, has finally given birth to a healthy planetoid last night after going into labor 21 Earth years ago.  Marp was pregnant for the past 430 Earth years.

Marp is a living planet with a healthy ecosystem living on its surface like most life-bearing planets.  But this planet came to be a living creature on its own at least 2 billion Earth years ago through unknown circumstances.  It was thought that living planets were unique phenomena in the cosmos with only 8 known to exist across 1,200 explored galaxies.  But with this birth, it appears there may be more, and they may be related.

“It’s amazing and beautiful,” said Jorpo Crumguggin, a scientist living on Marp.  “Once you get used to the constant earthquakes, Marp’s labor was a sight to behold.  We could see the baby bump for miles in the southern hemisphere, and to see it expand over the centuries was astonishing.  Frightening as [expletive], but still astonishing.”

Life on Marp has been a near constant state of earthquakes for the past 21 years, but Marpians grew accustomed to it.  They built their houses and structures to be earthquake-resistant, and their engineers are heralded as the best disaster-oriented engineers throughout the Local Group.  The non-sentient life has also evolved to accommodate the shaky surface.  Most lifeforms now have some sort of wobbly joints or shock-absorbing foot pads.

But the 21-year earthquakes have, understandably, hurt business on Marp.  “No one wanted to come here,” said Iomop Plumduggin, a local business leader.  “I can’t blame non-Marpians, though.  It took me three years to get used to the earthquakes.  Our economy has relied largely on subsistence from other planets and leasing out our engineers.”

“But now that Mother Marp has finally given birth, maybe things will pick up.  People will surely come to see the cute little planetoid.”

Mother Marp’s birth has left a gigantic crater in her surface, but by all accounts, both the mother and the baby planetoid, which is residing in the planet’s orbit much like a moon, are healthy.  Scientists plan on landing on the planetoid to check for diseases and to clean it, but they want to give the mother and baby some time to themselves.

Scientists are also eager to see if the planetoid will grow and leave its mother’s orbit in the coming centuries.  “If this is how living planets come into being,” said Crumguggin, “and for all we know, this could be the first time this has ever happened, then it’ll be interesting to see if the planetoid grows up like most lifeforms.  And if so, how long does it take?  Will it leave our orbit, or will we be pulled into two different directions by the two opposing gravitational pulls?  There are just so many fascinating questions.”

“Also, just look how cute it is.  I just want to pinch its tiny little craters!”

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