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Montezuma Breaks Nilrem Out of ‘Magic Jail’

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By Skip Daverman

K’MANI REALM – Montezuma broke the mad magician, Nilrem, out of “magic jail,” as the K’Mani Realm is more commonly known, using his winged serpent, Quetzalcoatl.

Experts have theorized that Montezuma has come back to life due to some sort of magic, if indeed it is the Montezuma of the Aztecs who died during the Spanish invasion into Mexico in 1520 and not a clone or robot.  The source of this magic has been a mystery, but now, that mystery appears to have been solved.  Quetzalcoatl has been creating portals that have allowed it and its master to teleport in an instant, and it just teleported into the K’Mani Realm.

“This is most troubling,” said Boston magician and legal scholar, Lonnie Pierson.  “We’ve set up the strongest magical barriers known to the all the magical realms, and specifically, the barriers work with the eccentric properties of the K’Mani to make them even more impenetrable.  It’s like how a computing device changes its passcodes every few seconds, but even more erratic than that.  You need an intimate knowledge of how it works to get in or out.  And Quetzalcoatl got in with relative ease.  It’s just roared.”

The K’Mani Realm houses many of the worst magicians, keeping them locked up with special barriers to counteract their personal magical abilities.  It is open to magicians of any planet in the Milky Way Galaxy and is monitored around the clock by thousands of magicians, wizards, mages, witches, and warlocks from hundreds of planets.  Since its inception in 1549, only three people have escaped, and all with inside help.  The last escapee was a non-Earth Mongolian in 1834.

Quetzalcoatl’s teleportation abilities were thought to be scientific in nature, but it’s clear now that it uses some form of magic.  That magic is able to counteract the magics of the K’Mani Realm and even the specific magics of each inmate’s cell.  Quetzalcoatl broke Nilrem out of his cell with one roar.

Now the question is why Montezuma broke out Nilrem.  Last time he was seen, Montezuma had learned what “Montezuma’s Revenge” meant in today’s vernacular, and he was not happy.

“Whatever he’s up to,” said Mexico City superhero, El Toro, “it’s not going to be easy to stop.  He’s upset about his fallen nation and the disgrace brought to his name.  I suspect he’s going to lash out and show us his true revenge.”

“And yes, I know how that sounds.”