By Skip Daverman
CLUJ – In a bold move, the Lupine Nation in Transylvania tried, and failed, to form a coalition with the aspiring nations of Pacifica and Asimovia a week ago.
The report, published in a Transylvanian newspaper, showed several emails, texts, and phone conversations initiated by the Lupine Nation, which represents the werewolf population in Transylvania. The conversations were sent out to leaders in the underwater nation of Pacifica, which is working to secede from Atlantis, and the robotic nation of Asimovia, which claimed an abandoned Japanese island as its home. Feeling a kinship with both, several representatives from the Lupine Nation, including leader, Dinu Nicolescu, approached each nation with a coalition proposal.
“Friends, let us work together for freedom,” said one Lupine email. “We all seek self-determination from our oppressive governments. Alone, we can only do so much. Together, we can achieve so much more!”
Both Pacifica and Asimovia denied the proposals several times. Pacifica is currently dealing with an Laval attack possibly coordinated by Atlantis, and Asimovia was attacked by a human-made computer virus. “Have you not read the news, dogs?” said one Pacifican text message. “Go chew on a bone, mongrel.” The Asimovians were even less subtle. “QUERY ANSWER DESIGNATION: NO MEATBAG.”
Lupine Nation leader, Dinu Nicolescu, has denied the report, despite the IP addresses being linked to Transylvanian locations. “We have not made any sort of proposal,” he said in a statement. “If they did come from Transylvania, then they were not authorized by me or the Lupine Nation. Someone with nefarious intent did this to frame us. We want independence, yes, but we have not asked for outside help in this manner.”
The Transylvanian government, and in particular Prime Minister Dracula himself, has not responded to this report, though sources inside Parliament have noted that Dracula was drinking more blood than normal after reading the report.