By Buffy Bolivar
PARIS – The Overseer, the giant-headed observer of our planet, is apparently “on vacation…traveling around Earth for fun,” and people are freaking out whenever he appears.
The Overseer explained in a press conference in Paris today that he is “simply on vacation.” For the past week, he has appeared at Mt. Fuji, the Taj Mahal, the Great Pyramids, and yesterday, the Eiffel Tower. Each appearance has caused people to freak out because he only shows up when something terrible is about to happen.
“I understand my appearance usually heralds some huge calamity to your planet,” he said, “ but I assure you I am traveling around Earth for fun, not business. I’ve never really enjoyed myself on Earth before. Please do not be afraid. Nothing is happening, I assure you.”
His intent may not matter much in the end. The Overseer stands 10-50 feet tall, has a gigantic head in proportion to his body, and is mostly nude. His visage suddenly appearing in a crowd will be enough to put people on edge.
It will also be difficult not to freak out when people of all nations have been taught since birth to run away from wherever the Overseer is. “See the Overseer, Fear the Overseer” goes the popular public service announcement from the 1960s.
So far, nothing has happened during his visits.
“How about this?” said the Overseer at the press conference. “I’ll tell you when calamity is about to happen. I’ll yell out ‘CALAMITY APPROACHING.’ That’ll put you all at ease, surely.”
The United Nations has politely asked the Overseer to not do this and to vacation on another planet.