The New Romford Free Press

Your most superheroic news source.


Kelsey Grammer in Hospital for Stepping on Rakes

By Julia Crumpleman HOLLYWOOD — Actor Kelsey Grammer was hospitalized yesterday for stepping on “at least 40 rakes” while shooting his new TV show Montgomery. Just last month Grammer stepped on a misplaced rake at the Marty & Irene premiere in New Romford, reminiscent of his Sideshow Bob character from The Simpsons.  But now he seems to be stepping on rakes on a regular basis, at least according to people on the set. “It was… Read More

Ask Julia: What About ‘The Gator’?

By Julia Crumpleman With New Romford still recuperating from the Dino-Day Disaster, I debated when I’d return to doing this column.  After all, there are much more pressing things to do, but that hasn’t stopped readers from sending me questions.  For any questions regarding the clean-up and recovery effort, please contact your local authorities and crisis management office.  They will be able to help you. Then it occurred to me that if I could provide… Read More

Ask Julia: Alternate Timeline vs. Alternate Dimension

By Julia Crumpleman Today’s question comes from Doris: Dear Julia, what’s the difference between an alternate timeline and an alternate dimension?  I keep hearing it on the news, but they don’t explain it very well, and nothing on the internet helps me.  Are they different from parallel universes?  Thank you kindly. Ah, that’s a tricky one, Doris.  I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t quite understand it all myself.  Dr. Amazing has a… Read More

New App Tracks Superheroes

By Julia Crumpleman A new app, Cape Finder, has hit the market, and it’ll allow users to track sightings of superheroes, supervillains, and other super-powered people and creatures with one tap. Argon Studios, the developer of Cape Finder, says the app will utilize the phone’s GPS software to pin a map when users see a superhero or supervillain, much like Foursquare does.  “All it’ll take is a tap on your screen,” said lead developer, Chad… Read More

The Bette Midler Show Dances Into the Morning

By Muffy Borgeron The Bette Midler Show rolled into the Tom Foreman Opera House last night at 7pm and lasted into the early hours of the morning.  Midler’s fans have been getting their money’s worth at her one-woman show across the country thanks to the cybernetic legs she got last year. “These new legs have been remarkable!” said Midler.  “I could stand on them all day and never get tired.  It’s fantastic!” On New Year’s… Read More

Grammer Hit by Rake at Premiere

By Julia Crumpleman Actor Kelsey Grammer, best known for his work as Dr. Frasier Crane on Cheers and Fraiser, was back in New Romford for the premiere of his new movie, Marty & Irene, at the historic Wilmore Theater when he stepped on a rake and smacked his face with its handle. Grammer, who fell into a Hawaiian cave while on a hike a few weeks ago, laughed it off.  “I guess I better find… Read More

Ask Julia: Telepathic Protection

By Julia Crumpleman Today’s question comes from Brandon: Dear Julia, I keep seeing these flyers for “telepathic protection classes.”  Are these worth the money, or are they just scams? Good question, Brandon!  Telepathy is a tricky subject to tackle, even for superheroes.  U.N. estimates there are about 200 telepaths in the world, maybe more, making up a very small portion of the world’s population.  The majority of these people are low-level telepaths with limited range… Read More