The New Romford Free Press

Your most superheroic news source.


GORM Is Magical Frog, Now Banished to Home Dimension

By Chase Chapley The mystery of who or what GORM was has now been solved.  GORM is a giant magical frog from Earth-188, where it apparently reigns supreme. The Peace Force issued a detailed accounting of how GORM came to our dimension: The Magnificent Magician, Magicimo®, encountered a strange magical anomaly on the outer reaches of The Mystic Plane, and he went to investigate.  He came across a unique dimension inhabited by bird-lizard hybrids that… Read More

Local News Roundup: A Kraken, the Cookie Monstrosity, and A Looping Subway Train

By Chase Chapley Offshore – The 12-foot tidal wave that crashed onto our shore, and throughout much of the eastern seaboard, was caused by Speedster creating “water tornadoes” out at sea.  The speed-themed superhero said she had to “take care of a kraken” that was attacking a freighter, though the captain of said freighter could not describe what the creature was when asked.  The captain’s eyes glowed purple when she asked about the incident, and… Read More

Pug Gang Walk Through Walls of DA’s Office

By Chase Chapley The Pug Gang, wearing special jumpsuits, walked through the walls of the District Attorney’s office last night and stole several documents, according to security camera footage. Pugsley Pepperdome, leader of the anthropomorphic pug gang, and three members of his crew don’t normally have the power to walk through walls.  It is assumed that the special jumpsuits allowed them to phase through solid matter.  How is not known as these seem to be… Read More

Old Man at Gas Station Has Been Lying About Abandoned House on the Hill

By Muffy Borgeron The old man running the gas station on the outskirts of town has been lying about the abandoned house on Hampton Hill for years, authorities said, and there have been no serial killers of any kind in the house. Stan and Meryl Thompson own the property at 2453 Hampton Hill Road and have been trying to sell it for the past 8 years.  The gas station is at the corner of Highway… Read More

Cape Finder Used by Meyers in Kidnapping Case

By Falco Rockbert The popular app, Cape Finder, is facing new scrutiny after it was revealed by the NRPD that Michelle Meyers used it to track Adonis and kidnap a woman. Arturo Studios, the maker of Cape Finder, released the app several months ago as a “fun way to watch superheroes” and to “crowdsource the movements of supervillains”.  Upon its release, several attorneys for superheroes expressed concern over the potential for supervillains to track them… Read More

Ask Julia: I Have an Alien Girlfriend, I Think

By Julia Crumpleman Greetings, Earthlings!  Today’s question comes from “Jacob” from “an undisclosed location”. Okay, so I started dating my girlfriend about three months ago, and so far, everything’s been great.  But lately, she’s been sneaking out at night when we’re together, and she comes back covered in dirt, jittery, and her eyes are completely black with some weird symbol in them.  I’ve finally confronted her about this a couple nights ago, and she confessed… Read More

Infinite Worlds: Year-Round Christmas

By Tarani Kapoor As Project INFINITY explores the multiverse, team leader Tarani Kapoor writes about their travels into the unknown.  We’ll bring you select excerpts from her journal as ATOM Labs provides them to us. DIMENSION 3 Our third jump brought us to a strange world.  Even though we jumped from our world in October, by the local calendar, it was June 14.  That quirk of the calendar, as not all dimensions sync with ours,… Read More