The New Romford Free Press

Your most superheroic news source.

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Giant Glowing Asteroid Lands Safely In Russia

By Skip Daverman MOSCOW – A giant asteroid landed safely 30 miles outside of Moscow today thanks to the efforts of Russian superhero, Ural. The asteroid, estimated at least a mile in diameter, was headed towards the heart of Russia today.  Ural flew into space to try and divert the rock but was unable to do so.  He was able to slow the rock’s speed enough to land it safely on the ground with a… Read More

Atlantis-Peace Force Meeting Set for Tomorrow

By Stan Hopewell The final touches are being made at the Peace Force Headquarters today as the annual Atlantis-Peace Force Meeting will take place all day tomorrow.  Members of Congress and the State Department have arrived in New Romford, and the majority of the Peace Force has been seen in and around the PFHQ. Adonis, leader of the Peace Force, is hoping that the meetings will be productive.  “King Morn A’Ganor and I go way… Read More

Ask Julia: Moving to New Romford

By Julia Crumpleman Today’s question comes from Nora: Dear Julia, my husband and I just moved into our new home here in New Romford, the Norwoods borough, specifically Holland.  We’ve done a lot of research on our own about the big city, but we hardly ever get superheroes in Indiana.  What should we do to protect ourselves and our home?  Thanks! Nora, let me be the first to welcome you to New Romford!  Moving here… Read More

Adonis Saves Michelle Meyers From the Master of Disaster…Again

By Falco Rockbert Intrepid reporter, Michelle Meyers, was saved, yet again, from the Master of Disaster while investigating a story in the Warehouse District.  This was the third time Meyers has been saved by Adonis this month. The Master of Disaster was purportedly stealing ATOM Lab technology when he and his crew spotted Meyers snooping around the area.  She was captured by the MoD and tied up over a trash compactor, seemingly about to fall… Read More

Twin Cities Become Sentient, Bicker

By Skip Daverman MINNEAPOLIS – The Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul were engulfed in a mysterious yellow light earlier today, and as a result, the Twin Cities became sentient and started to bicker. Scientists from the University of Minnesota were baffled as to the origin of the yellow light and about its curious effect.  “This is just crazy,” biology professor, Laura Stern said.  “The cities aren’t living organisms.  They’re inanimate objects, and on… Read More

Bug-Man Flees Exploding Apartment Building

By Chase Chapley The Verzatt Estates were rocked today by an explosion on the 6th floor as a man dressed as a bug flew away from the scene.  No one was reportedly injured. Officer Joe Mantle was on the scene first.  “All I saw was what everyone else saw,” he said.  “A guy dressed as a bug flew out of the exploding building, followed by some giant flying bugs.”  As to whether the man caused… Read More

Man Sues Red Bull for False Advertisement

By Muffy Borgeron Springfield resident Luke Seward is suing the makers of the energy drink Red Bull for false advertisement.  “Their ads say ‘Red Bull gives you wings,’” Seward said in a statement, “and people in their ads are depicted as gaining the power of flight after consuming their product.  I have drunk several dozen cans of Red Bull and have not grown wings.  This is false advertisement.” A spokesperson for Red Bull called the… Read More