The New Romford Free Press

Your most superheroic news source.


Dr. Amazing Frees Scientists from Adhesive Via Alternate Dimension

By Muffy Borgeron The three scientists stuck in the adhesive, KR-1078, for the past several months have finally been freed thanks to Dr. Amazing and an alternate dimension. Scientists Carl Michaelson, Denise Detroit, and Margo Doll were caught in an experiment gone wrong several months ago while testing out the new adhesive designated KR-1078.  While being stuck in the adhesive, in awkward, uncomfortable positions, they’ve been cared for by service robots, and they’ve even continued… Read More

Local News Roundup 10.19.15

By Chase Chapley TOMPKINS SQUARE, Norwoods – The Comedy District was hit last night, robbed of its laughter by sad clown supervillain, Pagliacci.  It was a typical night at the two dozen comedy clubs and cellars up and down Missouri Road, when out of nowhere people stopped laughing, and the comedians lost all their setups, timing, and punchlines.  Everyone was aware of the awkwardness of the situation, and without the soothing effect of laughter, even… Read More

Scientists Accustomed to Living in Adhesive

By Muffy Borgeron It’s been several weeks since the three ATOM Labs scientists got stuck in their own experimental adhesive, KR-1078, but even with the inconvenience, they’ve grown accustomed to their situation. “I wouldn’t call it ideal conditions,” said Carl Michaelson, one of the three scientists, “but it’s not so bad once you get used to it.  We’re waited on hand and foot by robots all day, and we’re finally getting work done that’s been… Read More

Scientists Still Stuck in Adhesive

By Muffy Borgeron The team of ATOM Labs scientists who were encased in a vat of super-strong adhesive a few days ago are still stuck.  They’ve been unable to move ever since. “That stuff is stronger than anyone thought,” said project supervisor, Daryl Freeman.  “Stronger than anything we’ve got to cut, crush, dissolve, or disintegrate it.  I’d say we had a winner on our hands, but we may have too much of a winner if… Read More

ATOM Labs Scientists Get Stuck in New Adhesive

By Muffy Borgeron It was the stickiest of sticky situations at ATOM Labs last night, and that can be scientifically proven, too. A team of three scientists, Carl Michaelson, Denise Detroit, and Margo Doll, have been developing a new adhesive for the past five years using recently discovered compounds from outer space.  Yesterday, they tested a new batch of their adhesive with the hope of using it in building materials to prevent damage from storms… Read More