The New Romford Free Press

Your most superheroic news source.

ATOM Labs’

‘X-Ray Man’ Releases X-Rays on Public after Attack by Teens

  by Buffy Bolivar An East Town man with uncontrollable X-Ray vision was attacked by teenagers outside of a convenience store, causing him to release large amounts of X-Rays on the unsuspecting public. Daniel Stanger, 54, was sprayed with toxic sludge when he was 22 in a truck accident while living in the Industrial District.  The truck hit a series of potholes and toppled over, spraying the toxic sludge onto the eyes of Stanger, who… Read More

City Council Nixes ‘Micro-Way’ After Mutant Bacteria Attack

  By Packie Williams When Daisuke Honda, a.k.a. Micro-Man, set out to demonstrate how his “Micro-Way” would work to the city council, he never envisioned it would go quite like it did today. Honda had been working for years on perfecting the Micro-Ray technology for common use and for everyday applications.  His “Micro-Way,” essentially a miniature subway system, was going to be his first commercial endeavor, and with the streets of New Romford still largely… Read More

Micro-Man Preps ‘Micro-Way’ for Proposal

By Julia Crumpleman ATOM Labs scientist, Daisuke Honda, a.k.a. the superhero Micro-Man, has been prepping a new transportation proposal for city hall ever since the Dino-Day Disaster.  Calling it the “Micro-Way,” it’s essentially a miniature subway, and he says it’ll solve the city’s traffic problems. “There’s only so much space for public transportation,” said Honda.  “Subways, buses, monorails, pneumatic tubes, they all suffer from one problem:  they take up space,” said Honda.  “You have to… Read More

Besides Walking Trees, Cosmic Rays Pass By Harmlessly

By Chase Chapley The cosmic rays that hit Earth yesterday passed by without much damage apart from the walking trees of Loyalsock State Forest in northern Pennsylvania. ATOM Labs saw that a cloud of cosmic radiation was headed toward Earth last week and predicted they’d hit our planet yesterday somewhere between 5:00 am and early this morning in a large area of the Eastern Coast. What was expected to be an off day for much… Read More

Scientists Still Stuck in Adhesive

By Muffy Borgeron The team of ATOM Labs scientists who were encased in a vat of super-strong adhesive a few days ago are still stuck.  They’ve been unable to move ever since. “That stuff is stronger than anyone thought,” said project supervisor, Daryl Freeman.  “Stronger than anything we’ve got to cut, crush, dissolve, or disintegrate it.  I’d say we had a winner on our hands, but we may have too much of a winner if… Read More

‘Normal Man’ Passes Away

By Muffy Borgeron Gil Heredia, the ATOM Labs maintenance worker who fell into a vat of chemicals a month ago, has passed away at the age of 54 due to complications from his injuries. ATOM Lab scientists are still trying to comprehend what has happened to one of their own.  “This is just so tragic,” said Heredia’s manager, Lauren Paladio.  “Gil was a good man, and I grieve for his family who will have to… Read More

New Romford Up to 60% Capacity

By Buffy Bolivar City officials have released figures estimating that New Romford is now running up to 60% capacity following the Dino-Day Disaster several weeks ago. All sewer lines have been repaired, and water and power have been returned to nearly the entire city.  Some of the older parts of Downtown, Bexton, and Dukes are still without full services.  Water and power are expected to be returned to everyone by the end of the week.… Read More