The New Romford Free Press

Your most superheroic news source.

Dr. Amazing’

Déjà vu Rocks City

By Falco Rockbert New Romford was hit with a sudden case of déjà vu yesterday afternoon at around 3:15.  Seemingly everyone in the area felt like they had experienced the same event happen twice at the same time. Martin Grainger, a.k.a. Dr. Amazing of The Amazings, felt the déjà vu as well and even recorded it.  “We have very precise clocks here at Grainger Tower,” he said, “and we somehow saw a tiny blip occur… Read More

Alligator Skin Outbreak in the Heights

By Muffy Borgeron An outbreak of alligator skin has spread throughout the Heights in the past week, and residents are advised to get vaccinated. Alligator skin was a relatively benign disease that sprang up in the 70’s when New Romford University professor, Alan Guinness, was attempting to regenerate body parts in humans using reptilian DNA.  His experiments backfired when he was turned into an anthropomorphic alligator.  Initially, he ravaged NRU campus before being stopped by… Read More

Atlantis-Peace Force Meeting to Begin at 9am

By Stan Hopewell The Atlantis-Peace Force Meeting is set to start in an hour, and downtown New Romford is abuzz with activity.  The NRPD has barricaded Trevor Rd, 31st St, and 4th Ave to make a clear path for the Atlanteans.  Adonis, Titana, and Dr. Amazing are waiting at the docks to greet King Morn A’Ganor and his Royal Circle, along with Senator Saluzzi and Secretary of State Clinton.  The rest of the Peace Force… Read More

Birther Denies Own Birth, Ceases to Exist

By Falco Rockbert Leeds resident, John Mahoney, 43, who denied that President Barack Obama was born in Hawaii, began to question his own birth and thought himself out of existence. John had been questioning Obama’s birthplace for years now, according to friends and family, despite evidence that confirmed Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii.  “He just wouldn’t listen,” said Mary Mahoney, his visibly distraught wife.  “It was ridiculous, of course, but John’s a stubborn man. … Read More

Future Farm Tower One Complete

by Packie Williams Future Farm, Tower One, is completed and open for business according to Martin Grainger, a.k.a. Dr. Amazing.  The 120-floor skyscraper is the first of five structures in Heights Park.  It is a project funded by billionaire industrialist Thomas McDowell and designed by Dr. Amazing aimed at producing food for the city of New Romford by using limited space. “One of the greatest challenges we as humanity will have to face,” said Dr.… Read More