The New Romford Free Press

Your most superheroic news source.


LA Gridlock: The Amazings End the Gridlock with Pocket Dimension But Can’t Close the Breach

By Buffy Bolivar LOS ANGELES – After what seems like months of strife, the original Amazings have ended the gridlock that turned the Greater Los Angeles area into a dozens of nations. “It was a bit more difficult than I thought,” said Dr. Amazing.  “There were so many vehicles blockading roads and intersections, so we couldn’t just unclog them.  Where would we put the vehicles?  Anywhere we put them would just let the whole thing… Read More

LA Gridlock: Bats vs. Birds, Disney Invades, & The Breach Gets Creepier

By Buffy Bolivar LOS ANGELES – Chaos continues to reign in the Greater Los Angeles Nations as birds attack bats, the Disney Lands take over Knott’s Berry Republic, and the Breach grows.  The Amazings are set to arrive in Los Angeles tomorrow, bringing much needed help to a region that continues to get weirder by the day. The nation known as Aviania has been blanketed by birds for the past week.  From seagulls to pigeons… Read More

LA Gridlock: Cat People vs. Dog People, The Breach, and Where Are the Superheroes?

By Buffy Bolivar LOS ANGELES – While Governor Jerry Brown has called a state of emergency for southern California, the residents of the new Greater Los Angeles Nations have dug in their heels for the long haul. The nations simply called Cat People and Dog People are predictably at war with each other.  Both nations reside in the quadrangle between the 710 & 605 and the 91 & 405, comprising a large portion of the… Read More

New Nations Form in Los Angeles Gridlock

By Buffy Bolivar LOS ANGELES – The permanent gridlock on the freeways and streets of the greater Los Angeles area has created more than just chaos.  It’s created new nations as well. With vehicles stuck on the freeways or the main roads, people haven’t moved much further than where their vehicles have parked.  Some local residents have offered to house stranded drivers while others have been living in parks, alleys, and whatever buildings in which… Read More

Mayors Ask for Help as LA Gridlock Spreads

by Buffy Bolivar LOS ANGELES — The gridlock that is plaguing the Los Angeles metropolitan area has spread to include nearly all of the freeways and major thoroughfares.  The growth has forced mayors of all the cities to ask for help. “We need the National Guard, the Peace Force, the Amazings, and anybody else with superpowers,” said LA Mayor Eric Garcetti.  “Our lives have effectively ground to a halt.  Our citizens can’t get to work,… Read More

LA Roads Finally Succumb to ‘Permanent’ Gridlock

by Buffy Bolivar LOS ANGELES — After a battle with the supervillain Monster Man crushed several intersections and freeways in the greater Los Angeles area three days ago, the area’s infamously gridlocked roads finally succumbed to “permanent” gridlock according to reports. “It’s finally happened,” said KTLA traffic reporter, Sally Martinez.  “I’ve been watching LA traffic from the skies for over 15 years, and the gridlock has always been terrible.  But now it’s permanent.  The roads… Read More