The New Romford Free Press

Your most superheroic news source.

Paris’

Overseer Says He’s ‘On Vacation’; People Freak Out When He Appears

By Buffy Bolivar PARIS – The Overseer, the giant-headed observer of our planet, is apparently “on vacation…traveling around Earth for fun,” and people are freaking out whenever he appears. The Overseer explained in a press conference in Paris today that he is “simply on vacation.”  For the past week, he has appeared at Mt. Fuji, the Taj Mahal, the Great Pyramids, and yesterday, the Eiffel Tower.   Each appearance has caused people to freak out because… Read More

Dracula’s Daughter Swears Off Human Blood, Defects to Paris

by Stan Hopewell PARIS — Sophia Dracula, the first daughter of Prime Minister Vladimir Dracula, has formally defected to Paris after swearing off human blood.  Prime Minister Dracula has not yet responded to the news. Sophia, born in 1732 to Dracula’s second wife, Morgan, has been loyal to her father for much of her life, and from 1824 to 1890 she served as his Foreign Minister.  She stepped down from the position after growing bored… Read More