The New Romford Free Press

Your most superheroic news source.

Professor Stratosphere’

Giant Feet and Tails Retreat and Are Now Gone For Some Reason

By Buffy Bolivar SYDNEY, Australia – It took the giant gray feet and tails a month to descend nearly 500 feet from their portals in the sky, and in an abrupt turn of events, they retreated and disappeared in three minutes. “We’ve been monitoring them closely,” said Professor Stratosphere, “and they’ve been descending at a constant rate of about a centimeter per day.  Then, for some reason, they just stopped and ascended very quickly.  And… Read More

Giant Tails Possibly Emerge with Giant Australian Feet

  By Buffy Bolivar SYDNEY, Australia – The giant feet descending over the Australian Outback have brought other body parts along with them. Today, large gray cones appeared 30 miles behind each pair of feet.  The most likely explanation is that the cones belong to the giant feet, and that they are tails.  This does not bode well, as much as slowly descending gray giants can bode well for anything. “See?” said Professor Stratosphere, who’s… Read More

Giant Australian Feet Reveal Giant Australian Calves

By Buffy Bolivar SYDNEY, Australia – The two pair of giant gray feet hovering over the Australian Outback have been slowly descending from their portals for the past week, and so far, they’ve only descended enough to show their calves. Information about where the feet came from or, more importantly, why they appeared above Australia is hard to come by.  Energy signatures from the portals share a common signature from the Carsi Nebula from the… Read More

Giant Feet Descend Over Australia

By Buffy Bolivar SYDNEY, Australia – In one of the more bizarre events in a world full of bizarre events, two pairs of giant feet have begun to descend from the sky over the Australian Outback. The giant feet are human-looking but gray in color.  Estimates put them in the range of 5-10 miles in length and 10-20 miles above the ground, but officials have set up a perimeter around the feet, so more accurate… Read More

Quinton School Explodes Again, This Time Not by Supervillain

by Buffy Borgeron CARTERSON — The Quinton School for Young Superheroes exploded yet again this morning, this time by one of its students.  No one was seriously injured. Marking the school’s 36th explosion in its 50-year long history, today’s blast was from a student’s lab experiment that went awry.  The student, whose name is being withheld by the school, was testing the limits of Professor Stratosphere’s nanites.  These are the same nanites that ran out… Read More

Nanites Finally Under Control

By Buffy Bolivar The nanite rampage at the Quinton School for Young Superheroes is finally over.  Professor Stratosphere, with assistance from ATOM Labs and Dr. Amazing, were able to find the cause of the nanites’ malfunction and stopped their ceaseless building last night. “It turns out there was some malicious code in their programming,” said Professor Stratosphere.  “I won’t say for certain where the code came from, but I have some guesses on who could’ve… Read More

Nanites Won’t Stop Building

By Buffy Bolivar Now, the Muskrat admits, things are getting out of hand.  The nanites that Professor Stratosphere infused into the Quinton School’s buildings have been continually building new structures ever since the Pop Man attack from two weeks ago.   They’re threatening to overrun the school’s property line and spread out towards the town of Carterson. “We are working on a solution right now,” said the Muskrat in a written statement.  “We will do whatever… Read More