The New Romford Free Press

Tag: Snow Woman

  • Dr. Amazing Fertilizes Future Farm with Dino Dung

    Dr. Amazing Fertilizes Future Farm with Dino Dung

    By Packie Williams

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    One of the biggest, and stinkiest, problems in the wake of the Dino-Day Disaster was what to do with all the dinosaur dung that was left behind.  Dr. Amazing has volunteered to use it as fertilizer.

    “Dung is nature’s natural fertilizer,” he said.  “It’s full of nutrients that plants need in order to grow, and with so much of it around, it just makes sense to use it in the Future Farm.”

    Dr. Amazing and robots from ATOM Labs have been scooping up as much of the dino dung as they could and hauling back to ATOM Labs for study.  First, they wanted to have samples available for paleontologists to study and also to see if there were any remnants of the Dinosaur Queen’s magic left over.  “The last thing we wanted,” said Dr. Amazing, “was for whatever magical particles that turned us into dinosaurs to be left in the dung, and if it were to fertilize crops, we had to make sure nothing evil got transferred to the food, which might turn people back into dinosaurs if they ate a tomato for instance.”

    “Luckily, the occult section of ATOM Labs has given us the all clear,” said Dr. Amazing.  “I don’t put much stock into magic personally, but it happens, so we have to be careful.”

    Dr. Amazing hopes that the dino dung will naturally speed up the growth of his crops.  “No one wants artificial chemicals put into their food,” he said.  “So we’re going to use the next best thing.  Which is dinosaur dung.”

    Dr. Amazing’s wife, Snow Woman, did not comment.

  • The Amazings Play With Kids Affected by DDD

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    By Buffy Bolivar

    With much of the city in ruins from the Dino-Day Disaster, families have been displaced from their homes and neighborhoods.  To help keep up the spirits of their fellow New Romforders, the Amazings stopped by Griffin Park in Frankton today, using their superpowers to play with local children.

    “It was really, really fun to jump on Dr. Amazing’s tummy,” said five-year-old Stacy.  “I jumped really high, like a million times!”

    Dr. Amazing stretched his torso out like a trampoline and let children jump on him one-by-one.  Once their turn was up, he caught them in the air and morphed his arm into a slide.  Meanwhile, Snow Woman created a winter wonderland inside a patented, invisible Amazing Dome, which kept the area at a cool 30° F.  After all, she had to keep the snowball fight going.  And Mr. Bigg flew children, four at a time, in a decommissioned AmazoPlane, 100 feet in the sky.

    “The snowball fight was so much fun!” said nine-year-old Jacob.  “Snow Woman just created this amazing snow fort that literally looked like a snow fort, and it was so awesome!”  The realistic-looking snow fort didn’t look like one after a few minutes of the snowball fight.

    “I’ve never flown before,” said twelve-year-old Dierdre.  “I mean, not like a superhero would.  But Mr. Bigg gave me the ride of my life, and now, I want to get superpowers of my own someday.  I want to fly on my own!”

    Notably missing from the original Amazings was Joan Upshaw, a.k.a. Miss Terror.  Understandably, her powers would be less conducive to playing with children, but she stayed behind at Grainger Tower to monitor the current Amazings team as they assisted with the search and rescue effort.  “Joan wishes she could’ve made it here,” said Dr. Amazing.  “But she preferred to stay at the tower and help out in her own way.  You know how Joan is.”

    Regardless, the parents were grateful for the break from the last few weeks.  “We’ve just been dealing with so much,” said Paula Moreno.  “I haven’t seen my children laugh and play in so long.  This really helps out.  It really does.”

    “This is what superheroes do.”