The New Romford Free Press

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The Gator’

Area Woman’s Daughter Is A Triceratops (Yes, Really)

By Chase Chapley Susan Wong thought she had lost her daughter during the Dino-Day Disaster.  She was nine-months pregnant at the time when she was transformed into a Triceratops, and like most of the city, she was confused and anxious, and her hormones didn’t help either.  Then she gave birth.  To an egg. “I was so excited to be a mother and was actually due in a week,” said Wong.  “My husband and I have… Read More

Ask Julia: What About ‘The Gator’?

By Julia Crumpleman With New Romford still recuperating from the Dino-Day Disaster, I debated when I’d return to doing this column.  After all, there are much more pressing things to do, but that hasn’t stopped readers from sending me questions.  For any questions regarding the clean-up and recovery effort, please contact your local authorities and crisis management office.  They will be able to help you. Then it occurred to me that if I could provide… Read More

Alligator Skin Outbreak in the Heights

By Muffy Borgeron An outbreak of alligator skin has spread throughout the Heights in the past week, and residents are advised to get vaccinated. Alligator skin was a relatively benign disease that sprang up in the 70’s when New Romford University professor, Alan Guinness, was attempting to regenerate body parts in humans using reptilian DNA.  His experiments backfired when he was turned into an anthropomorphic alligator.  Initially, he ravaged NRU campus before being stopped by… Read More