The New Romford Free Press

Tag: android

  • After Android Fails, Mic-D Returns as Clone

    After Android Fails, Mic-D Returns as Clone

    By Stan Hopewell

    TIJUANA, Mexico – After rap mogul Gray Matter debuted an android of the late Mic-D last month, many people wondered about the ethics of such a decision.  Now, Gray Matter debuted his late partner as a clone at a concert in Tijuana.

    “People were complaining about his jerky movements,” said Gray Matter after the show, “but now he ain’t a robot.  Now he’s a real human being, yo!”

    Indeed, the cloned Mic-D’s movements were much more fluid than the android, but most concert-goers did not initially recognize that it wasn’t just an actor playing the part.  “From a hundred feet away, it’s just some dude, you know?” said Janet Mayer, an American who came to Tijuana to see this show.  It was a sentiment carried by most of the audience of 10,000, but afterwards, Gray Matter showed him off the media.

    “This is the real deal, my [expletive] [expletive],” he said.  “We’re going to blow this [expletive] up!”

    The Mic-D clone seemed overwhelmed by the attention, seeing as he was technically only two months old despite having an adult body.  Gray Matter didn’t allow him to speak or interact with the media and quickly ducked back into their tour bus without taking questions.

    One of the questions repeatedly asked was about the moral quandaries of resurrecting a deceased friend for monetary gain without the deceased’s consent.  Concert-goers seemed put off when they learned the news.  “Oh my God, I can’t believe he said that,” said Juanita Hermanos.  “Why can’t they leave the dead alone?  Don’t they know that’s bad luck?”

    “What?  No, that was just an actor, right?  No way someone would be so stupid to do that to their friend,” said Carlos Estes.

    “Ew,” said Stacy Paul.

    There were other lingering questions as well:  Where did the android go?  Where did Gray Matter get the money or genetic material to clone Mic-D?  Did his family consent to it?  And how is he going to tour the U.S., where cloning is illegal?  It’s no coincidence that the cloned Mic-D was debuted in Mexico.  He was likely bred there as well as Mexico has more lenient cloning laws.

    Reporters crowded Gray Matter’s tour bus, screaming questions at him.  The bus pulled away, and Gray Matter leaned out the window, flipping everyone off.  The cloned Mic-D did the same but used the wrong fingers.

  • Dead Rapper Returns As Android

    Dead Rapper Returns As Android

    By Packie Williams

    CHICAGO – Late rapper, Mic-D returned onstage at a concert for long-time collaborator, Gray Matter, in the guise of an android.

    Gray Matter was performing the song, “Hilltop Love,” when he brought the Mic-D android out on stage.  “Hilltop Love” is one of the many collaborations between the two famed rappers, and up until now, had always been performed by one of Gray Matter’s road MCs or, occasionally, another famous rapper at a music festival or awards show.

    Mic-D, whose real name was Trevor Willis, died in 1997 from a gunshot wound while partying in Miami.  No one was ever charged for the apparent homicide, and his death sent shockwaves throughout the hip hop community.  Willis became a symbol to music fans all across the world as he rapped about his life, growing up poor in Los Angeles and struggling to deal with racism, poverty, and fame.  He was posthumously inducted into the Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame in 1998 and named one of Rolling Stone Magazine’s most influential artists of the 20th Century.

    Now, he is an android, rapping from a music file embedded in his cybernetic brain.

    At first, concert-goers were thrilled to see a robotic simulation of the beloved rapper on stage.  “I thought he had come back to life,” said Jennifer Rodgers.  “I mean, superheroes come back to life all the time, right?  But there’s was just something off about him.  He was too good, too on his game, you know?  His movements were weird.”

    “Of course, he’s going to look robotic,” said Gray Matter after the concert.  “He’s a robot for Christ’s sakes.  But he’s the best damn robot you’ll ever see.  It’s like Mic-D came back to life!”

    As concert-goers began to realize that Mic-D was resurrected as an android, devoid of the humanity that endeared him to his fans, they grew uncomfortable.  “This just feels weird,” said Matt Humel.  “It’s one thing to come back to life, but this is just wrong.”

    “Did his family know about this?” said Tony Chard.  “Did we pay for this?  I feel kind of gross having paid for this weird robot thing of Mic-D.  The man was a legend.  Can’t we leave well enough alone?”

    Gray Matter dismissed all suggestions that he was taking advantage of his late friend.  “Look, his death was one of the greatest losses the world has seen,” he said.  “His music is still played on radio to this day, bringing joy to millions of people.  I’m just doing my part to bring more joy to those people by making him a super cool android.”

    Asked about whether Willis’s family signed off on this, Gray Matter said he had to go.