Tag: dinos

  • Area Woman’s Daughter Is A Triceratops (Yes, Really)

    Area Woman’s Daughter Is A Triceratops (Yes, Really)

    tritopskid3web

    By Chase Chapley

    Susan Wong thought she had lost her daughter during the Dino-Day Disaster.  She was nine-months pregnant at the time when she was transformed into a Triceratops, and like most of the city, she was confused and anxious, and her hormones didn’t help either.  Then she gave birth.  To an egg.

    “I was so excited to be a mother and was actually due in a week,” said Wong.  “My husband and I have been anxiously awaiting the birth of our daughter, and then I laid an egg.  I freaked out.”

    Wong was by herself at the time in Legends Park, and when she was beginning to have labor pains, she found a secluded spot in some bushes.  There, she laid her egg.  Exhausted and “freaked out,” she didn’t have time to contemplate or protect her egg.  The Dino Army was on its way to the park.  She had to run.

    “It was the hardest thing for me to do,” she said, “and I still feel terrible for abandoning my child.  But I tried to hide her as best I could and hoped the Dino Army wouldn’t find her.  I couldn’t carry her with me.”

    When she turned back to human, Wong went back to the park to look for her daughter.  She found egg shells, and the ground was wet.  There was no sign of a child, no tracks, nothing.  Her and her husband searched everywhere and contacted the police for help, but in the aftermath of the DDD, the authorities were stretched thin.  A few officers helped them search, but they found nothing.  “I thought I lost my baby,” she said, failing to hold back tears.

    Fast forward to last week, one of Professor “The Gator” Alan Guinness’s students was walking along the Winston River, and she came across a small Triceratops eating grass.  The Triceratops was about the size of a St. Bernard and was scared upon meeting the undergrad, Kiki Nagasaki.  “The little thing was so cute but also so shy,” she said.  “I grabbed a branch from a tree and inched closer to her.  I held out the branch, hoping she’d eat the leaves and let me get close to her.  And she did.  I petted her, and she just seemed so happy.  Then she tried to cuddle with me with her horns, which really hurt.”

    With the help of some friends, Nagasaki was able to transport the Triceratops to Professor Guinness’s lab, and the good doctor performed some tests.  The results from the DNA scan showed the Triceratops was human in origin, but her DNA was mutated.  Given his personal history with mutation, Guinness released the news to the press.  “I figured someone out there was missing a child,” he said.

    When Susan Wong heard the news, her and her husband rushed to Professor Guinness’s lab.  She knew it was her daughter.  Crying, she ran to her daughter and embraced her.  The Triceratops, perhaps recognizing her mother’s scent, became excited, hopping up and down and poking her mother with her horns (which were covered with blunt rubber tops by now).  The family was reunited.

    The father, Ken, was more befuddled than ecstatic.  While happy that his daughter survived the DDD, he wanted to know why she didn’t change back to a human like everyone else.  “Our working theory,” said Professor Guinness, “is that being transformed in the womb made the transformation permanent.  We’re not really sure why this is the case, but something in the magic the Dinosaur Queen used mixed with the Wongs’ specific genetics must’ve made this stick.”

    Guinness is still studying Lucy, the name the Wongs gave their daughter, and has offered to let her live at his office.  He promised the Wongs he would find a way to change their daughter back to human.  “After all,” he said, “she’s going to get very big.  Triceratops get to be as big as elephants, and being a 12-foot tall alligator man myself, my lab is big enough for Lucy.”

    But the Wongs insisted their daughter live with them for now.  “We’ll probably have to take the doctor up on his offer eventually,” said Susan.  “But for now, I want to spend every day with my daughter.  I’m just so blessed to have her in my life.”

    Ken seemed less enthusiastic.  “I love my daughter, of course,” he said.  “I just wish she didn’t eat so much and poke her horns into me.”

  • Residents Repay Businesses After Dino-Day Disaster

    Residents Repay Businesses After Dino-Day Disaster

    By Muffy Borgeron

    Businesses were hit hard during the Dino-Day Disaster, especially the ones that sold food.  Many were looted by hungry people, whose increased sizes required more calories to burn.  Today, thousands of residents flooded these businesses to pay for what they ate.

    “I was not expecting this,” said Sal Montoya, owner of Sal’s Deli in LoDo.  “My deli was empty after that day, and my insurance could only pay so much.  I don’t blame anyone for taking what they needed because it was a rough time, you know, so this really is something special.”

    Allie deFranco, a Parkhill resident, started a Facebook campaign to repay the businesses that unwittingly helped so many people.  “When I was an Allosaurus that day,” she said, “I was just so hungry, and I didn’t really care where I got my food.  Perhaps it was the animal in me, but the human in me felt guilty that I was raiding Sal’s Deli.  Then I started talking to some of my friends, who had similar experiences, and we decided to just start a campaign to take one day out of the week to repay these places the best we can, with money.”

    DeFranco thought she’d get at most 100 people interested in her campaign, but as word spread online, that number quickly shot up to over 20,000 people.  Everyone was encouraged to repay what they thought they took, but if they couldn’t afford that, they asked to donate at least $5 to that business.

    Markets, delis, restaurants, and bodegas all over Downtown, Bexton, and Dukes were flooded with patrons, and most people gave back more than what they took.  “This one lady was just too kind,” said Maria Gonzalez of Chica’s Bodega in Dominicana.  “She told me how she was this big armored dinosaur, I don’t remember what she said she was, but she was just so hungry that she ate 20 heads of cabbage and a whole basket of tomatoes.  If that’s true, it’d cost at least $100, but she gave me triple that.  I just hugged her like she was my own daughter.”

    DeFranco hopes that the money can be used to help get these businesses back on their feet, even if that’s going to be a long road.  “My home only got a few scrapes from that day,” she said.  “My office was closed that day and didn’t get damaged, so I’m one of the lucky ones.  These people’s whole livelihoods have been dismantled.  It’s the least we can do.”

  • Grainger Tower Taken Over, Transformed

    Grainger Tower Taken Over, Transformed

    By Chase Chapley

    Walking down a couple blocks, I was talking to as many people as I could, though everyone is understandably frightened and confused.  In the middle of a conversation with a duck-billed dinosaur named George, I was alerted to Grainger Tower.  It has been taken over by the Dinosaur Queen and transformed.

    I’m not well-versed in architecture, but it looks like it came from The Lord of the Rings.  It is darkly colored, spikey, and giving off a strange glow from the point on top.  I can only assume that this is the source of the strange magic the Dinosaur Queen has employed, and it seems to have transformed the Grainger Tower as well as the human populace.  Since it is the home of the Amazings, and also the tallest building in New Romford, it would make sense for the Dinosaur Queen to set up base there.

    Unfortunately, I’m not able to take a photo of it at the moment.  I’ll try to find a photo to post, but if anyone can provide one, please send it to us.

    More to come.