By Skip Daverman
WICHITA – The Magnificent Magician, Magicimo® captured the evil sorcerer Nilrem today outside of Wichita, Kansas, in a magic battle that temporarily decimated the Kansan landscape.
Nilrem, the evil mirror image of the ancient sorcerer, Merlin, was conjuring up his patented Odanrots for fun in the small town of Wellington, just south of Wichita. Odanrots, of course, are reverse tornadoes. Instead of sucking things into its vortex, Odanrots spew wind outwards. How this actually happens is not known to science, naturally, as it’s magic.
Why Nilrem was conjuring up Odanrots is also not known, but it’s probably because he’s “a madman” according to The Maginificent Magician, Magicimo®. With all the houses and streets he spewed across the countryside, he was easy to find. He engaged Nilrem with a few magic spells to constrain him, but Nilrem broke free and started using roads to whip The Magnificent Magician, Magicimo®. The battle continued for nearly eight minutes, leaving Wellington and the Kansas countryside in ruins. Nilrem was finally captured when his mouth and body were wrapped in metal clasps. Then, with a few hand gestures and glowing eyes, The Magnificent Magician, Magicimo® returned everything back to normal. The houses, streets, and farms were as good as new.
“I simply reversed this maddening madman’s madness,” he said. “It was not difficult. After all, he is a third-rate, two-timing thug, and nothing like me, the Magnificent Magician, Magicimo®.”
After answering some more questions with alliteration, The Magnificent Magician, Magicimo® reversed the spell that turned the Twin Cities sentient and, surprisingly, the spell that turned the ivy in Wrigley Field sentient. It was not known that Nilrem was the cause of that, but considering how similar it was to the Twin Cities, it makes sense now. “Clearly, the madman who thought this up was not very imaginative,” he said.
