The New Romford Free Press

Tag: Mic-D

  • Mic-D Benefit Concert Thrills and Spills

    Mic-D Benefit Concert Thrills and Spills

    Mic-D file photo

    By Julia Crumpleman

    WHITE VALLEY – The Mic-D benefit concert for the victims of the Dino-Day Disaster, nicknamed #Mic-DDD on Twitter, went off without much of a hitch.  Until Mic-D came onstage.

    The benefit concert lasted five hours out at the Marias Amphitheatre outside of White Valley.  The venue was not damaged during the DDD as it was outside the radius of the Dino-Ray.  Over 20 musical acts and special guests were there to raise money for the victims of the DDD.  Beyoncé and Jay-Z performed a duet, U2 played a song with Coldplay, and Miley Cyrus twerked her hardest, all paying homage to the victims and their families.

    The main event, though, was the clone of Mic-D performing five songs for the first time on American soil.  The U.S. ban on clones is still in effect, but the Obama Administration made an exception for this case.

    Initially, Mic-D didn’t disappoint.  He performed his first three songs perfectly.  The crowd seemed to have forgotten that he was a clone of a dead man created by his best friend with or without consent from his family.  But when he started performing his fourth song, “D-Lite City,” things started to get sloppy according to those in the front row of the concert.

    “OMG,” said @AerostarMonk on Twitter, “Mic-D is gushing goo from his legs!  #GOO  #Mic-GOO #Mic-DDD”

    “Mic-D is spilling out of his pants, yo!” said @twittername2, on Twitter.  “It’s green and it’s everywhere!  I think I swallowed some!!  #Mic-DDD”

    Event organizers cut the feed as soon as Mic-D started to spill green goo from his legs, and with the broadcast on a tape delay to prevent any mishaps, it never actually made it to air.  But that didn’t stop dozens of people from tweeting pictures of it.  For legal reasons, we cannot show you the pictures, but we have seen them.

    “I don’t even know what that was,” said @LuluGumshoe, who live-tweeted the experience.  “At one point, he’s fine, the next, GREEN GOO EVERYWHERE.  It was like a pair of valves on the back of his legs or ass sprung a leak.  It was GUSHING.”

    “His handlers came out and dragged [him] offstage,” she continued.  “He seemed to go limp.  I guess green goo keeps him alive.”

    Mic-D’s handlers declined to comment on anything, even the health hazard to anyone who came in contact with the green goo.  Several concert-goers reported being sprayed with the goo and not getting much help from the event organizers.  No one has reported any illness so far.

    “This is why you don’t let no clones into your concerts,” said Kanye West, who was upset that he wasn’t invited to perform.  “You go for the real deal, and you get a real show, yo.  Green goo just don’t cut it.  I’m filled with real goo!”

  • U.S. Relaxes Restrictions on Clones for Mic-D Tribute Concert

    U.S. Relaxes Restrictions on Clones for Mic-D Tribute Concert

    After android fails, Mic-D returns as clone.
    Mic-D file photo.

    By Stan Hopewell

    WASHINGTON – The U.S. government relaxed its restrictions on clones entering the country today so that the clone of Mic-D can perform a tribute concert for the Dino-Day Disaster.

    The U.S. government bans the creation of any new human, humanoid, or sentient lifeforms within its borders and also restricts the entrance of any clones created outside the U.S.  After several incidents with clones of superheroes and supervillains, which have cost hundreds of lives and billions of dollars in property damage, Congress banned all new clones in 1993.  Any clone created outside the U.S. can only enter on a very strict basis, usually for “extreme circumstances”.  Clones who were created before 1993 are allowed to live as normal citizens but are closely monitored.

    Allowing the clone of rapper Mic-D, who was created in Mexico, to enter U.S. borders for a tribute concert shows that the government is willing to relax its restrictions.  “I don’t think a tribute concert counts as an ‘extreme circumstance’,” said legal expert, Maria Bramford.  “What it says is that the American government is willing to work with clones and to give them more equal treatment, just like they’d give any original person.”

    Some people aren’t pleased by the restriction.  “It goes against all of our morals and ethics,” said John Jefferson of the Heritage Federation.  “Cloning should not be encouraged in any way, shape, or form.  There may be some ‘normal’ clones out there, and they may contribute to society as a whole, but they’re not natural.”

    The relaxation seems to show the U.S. government is willing to work with clones as they do original humans in hopes of reaping the economic benefits that may come from it.  Edward von Eschen, CEO of Eschen Technologies, cloned himself five years ago and was able to double his company’s productivity and increased its profits by 30%.  “Von Eschen is the perfect example,” said Bramford.  “That’s what the U.S. government ultimately wants.  The profits from cloned elites to propel our economy into the future, but it’s a delicate balancing act as cloning is still a taboo subject here.”

    “Plus, that Mic-D clone, a clone of a dead person, is just creepy, so I get that side, too.”

    Related Stories
    Mic-D returns as Clone
    Dead Rapper returns as android

  • After Android Fails, Mic-D Returns as Clone

    After Android Fails, Mic-D Returns as Clone

    By Stan Hopewell

    TIJUANA, Mexico – After rap mogul Gray Matter debuted an android of the late Mic-D last month, many people wondered about the ethics of such a decision.  Now, Gray Matter debuted his late partner as a clone at a concert in Tijuana.

    “People were complaining about his jerky movements,” said Gray Matter after the show, “but now he ain’t a robot.  Now he’s a real human being, yo!”

    Indeed, the cloned Mic-D’s movements were much more fluid than the android, but most concert-goers did not initially recognize that it wasn’t just an actor playing the part.  “From a hundred feet away, it’s just some dude, you know?” said Janet Mayer, an American who came to Tijuana to see this show.  It was a sentiment carried by most of the audience of 10,000, but afterwards, Gray Matter showed him off the media.

    “This is the real deal, my [expletive] [expletive],” he said.  “We’re going to blow this [expletive] up!”

    The Mic-D clone seemed overwhelmed by the attention, seeing as he was technically only two months old despite having an adult body.  Gray Matter didn’t allow him to speak or interact with the media and quickly ducked back into their tour bus without taking questions.

    One of the questions repeatedly asked was about the moral quandaries of resurrecting a deceased friend for monetary gain without the deceased’s consent.  Concert-goers seemed put off when they learned the news.  “Oh my God, I can’t believe he said that,” said Juanita Hermanos.  “Why can’t they leave the dead alone?  Don’t they know that’s bad luck?”

    “What?  No, that was just an actor, right?  No way someone would be so stupid to do that to their friend,” said Carlos Estes.

    “Ew,” said Stacy Paul.

    There were other lingering questions as well:  Where did the android go?  Where did Gray Matter get the money or genetic material to clone Mic-D?  Did his family consent to it?  And how is he going to tour the U.S., where cloning is illegal?  It’s no coincidence that the cloned Mic-D was debuted in Mexico.  He was likely bred there as well as Mexico has more lenient cloning laws.

    Reporters crowded Gray Matter’s tour bus, screaming questions at him.  The bus pulled away, and Gray Matter leaned out the window, flipping everyone off.  The cloned Mic-D did the same but used the wrong fingers.

  • Dead Rapper Returns As Android

    Dead Rapper Returns As Android

    By Packie Williams

    CHICAGO – Late rapper, Mic-D returned onstage at a concert for long-time collaborator, Gray Matter, in the guise of an android.

    Gray Matter was performing the song, “Hilltop Love,” when he brought the Mic-D android out on stage.  “Hilltop Love” is one of the many collaborations between the two famed rappers, and up until now, had always been performed by one of Gray Matter’s road MCs or, occasionally, another famous rapper at a music festival or awards show.

    Mic-D, whose real name was Trevor Willis, died in 1997 from a gunshot wound while partying in Miami.  No one was ever charged for the apparent homicide, and his death sent shockwaves throughout the hip hop community.  Willis became a symbol to music fans all across the world as he rapped about his life, growing up poor in Los Angeles and struggling to deal with racism, poverty, and fame.  He was posthumously inducted into the Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame in 1998 and named one of Rolling Stone Magazine’s most influential artists of the 20th Century.

    Now, he is an android, rapping from a music file embedded in his cybernetic brain.

    At first, concert-goers were thrilled to see a robotic simulation of the beloved rapper on stage.  “I thought he had come back to life,” said Jennifer Rodgers.  “I mean, superheroes come back to life all the time, right?  But there’s was just something off about him.  He was too good, too on his game, you know?  His movements were weird.”

    “Of course, he’s going to look robotic,” said Gray Matter after the concert.  “He’s a robot for Christ’s sakes.  But he’s the best damn robot you’ll ever see.  It’s like Mic-D came back to life!”

    As concert-goers began to realize that Mic-D was resurrected as an android, devoid of the humanity that endeared him to his fans, they grew uncomfortable.  “This just feels weird,” said Matt Humel.  “It’s one thing to come back to life, but this is just wrong.”

    “Did his family know about this?” said Tony Chard.  “Did we pay for this?  I feel kind of gross having paid for this weird robot thing of Mic-D.  The man was a legend.  Can’t we leave well enough alone?”

    Gray Matter dismissed all suggestions that he was taking advantage of his late friend.  “Look, his death was one of the greatest losses the world has seen,” he said.  “His music is still played on radio to this day, bringing joy to millions of people.  I’m just doing my part to bring more joy to those people by making him a super cool android.”

    Asked about whether Willis’s family signed off on this, Gray Matter said he had to go.