The New Romford Free Press

Tag: nanites

  • Quinton School Explodes Again, This Time Not by Supervillain

    Quinton School Explodes Again, This Time Not by Supervillain

    school

    by Buffy Borgeron

    CARTERSON — The Quinton School for Young Superheroes exploded yet again this morning, this time by one of its students.  No one was seriously injured.

    Marking the school’s 36th explosion in its 50-year long history, today’s blast was from a student’s lab experiment that went awry.  The student, whose name is being withheld by the school, was testing the limits of Professor Stratosphere’s nanites.  These are the same nanites that ran out of control a few months ago.  The Professor was supervising the experiment but was not in the room at the time of the explosion.

    “It’s my fault, really,” said Professor Stratosphere.  “My head globe was starting to crack, and I had to step out to get a new one.  I should’ve replaced it before we began the experiment so that I could’ve been there to watch the experiment more closely.”

    “That said, we found the point at which these little buggers overload.  So that’s a plus.”

    The Professor wouldn’t comment any further on the nature of the experiment, but the overloaded nanites created a series of sparks that reacted with some gases nearby, which started a chain reaction.  Eventually, the explosion took out a large section of the science building and could be heard all the way to downtown New Romford.  Somehow, no one was seriously injured.

    “Our students are superheroes in training,” said Professor Stratosphere.  “They’re used to things like this.  They reacted like superheroes should.”

    The Professor was also quick to point out that this wasn’t a supervillain attack nor did any student turn evil.  “I know we get attacked frequently,” he said.  “But this was not, and I repeat, NOT a supervillain attack, and our students didn’t turn evil.  I repeat, no one turned evil.”

    “The nanites also burned up in the explosion,” he added.  “No one will have gargoyle statues self-assembling on their lawns.  I promise.”

  • Nanites Finally Under Control

    Nanites Finally Under Control

    school

    By Buffy Bolivar

    The nanite rampage at the Quinton School for Young Superheroes is finally over.  Professor Stratosphere, with assistance from ATOM Labs and Dr. Amazing, were able to find the cause of the nanites’ malfunction and stopped their ceaseless building last night.

    “It turns out there was some malicious code in their programming,” said Professor Stratosphere.  “I won’t say for certain where the code came from, but I have some guesses on who could’ve put it in there.  One of our many enemies to be sure.”

    It had been three weeks since the rampage had begun as the nanites kept building new structures after the Pop Man attack on the day the school reopened.  The nanites crept to the school’s property line, threatening the residents of Carterson with gargoyle statues and spikes.  Faculty and students had been destroying buildings on a regular basis to slow them down, and they even got some of the residents to help out.

    Finally, the ordeal is over, and many of the students are relieved to be able to rest.  “It’s just been a lot of busy work,” said Jason Mirth, a.k.a. Stone Fist.  “My hands hurt.  I think I’m going to sleep for a week.”

    Before, the residents had to deal with all the noise of the destruction, but now that it’s over, there’s an eerie quiet in town.  “It’s really weird,” said Wanda Platt.  “Everyone had to speak up and yell, basically, to talk for the past week or so.  We all just got used to it.  Now, it’s really quiet, and no one wants to break the silence.

    “But I’m glad it’s over.  I just hope I can get to sleep tonight without all the white noise.”

  • Carterson Residents Destroy Buildings for Fun and Safety

    Carterson Residents Destroy Buildings for Fun and Safety

    gargoyleswebBy Buffy Bolivar

    The nanites from the Quinton School for Young Superheroes are still rampaging on the campus as students and faculty have set up a rotating schedule for destroying new buildings as they come.  Now, the residents of Carterson have been invited to help out.

    Headmaster Muskrat has offered some residents to opportunity to vent their frustrations of the nanites by letting them destroy buildings alongside the students and faculty.  “This is more fun than I thought it’d be,” said Jill Hadley.  “The lady with the weird face tattoos [faculty member Tara Target] gave me this giant hammer to smash things with.  The hammer isn’t as heavy as it looks, but it still smashes things good.”

    “I’ve destroyed 20 gargoyles today!”

    Residents have been helping out the school, not just to give the students and faculty a break, but also to help preserve their homes from unwanted gargoyles and spikes.  Members of a local gym have come by, mostly for the exercise.  “I’m all for a full-body workout,” said Jon Anthony.  “Smashing buildings uses every muscle in your body.  It’s great for bodybuilding.”

    But some residents aren’t so happy about this.  Mary Landers wouldn’t mind if the nanites came over and helped out her house.  “I wouldn’t mind have a second floor and a garage,” she said.  “Can’t they let a few of them robots come over and remodel my house?  I wouldn’t even mind a few gargoyles.”

    Meanwhile, the Muskrat assured residents that Professor Stratosphere was close to a solution to stomp the rampage.

  • Quinton School Nanites Keep Building

    Quinton School Nanites Keep Building

    school

    By Buffy Bolivar

    The nanites of the Quinton School for Young Superheroes appear to keep rebuilding the campus, long after they’ve rebuilt the buildings that were destroyed last week.

    Pop Man attacked the school last week, exploding several buildings on campus, and was eventually arrested.  When reached for comment on the attack, Professor Stratosphere remarked that he infused the architecture with nanites, or microscopic robots, that would rebuild any structure within days.  Apparently, that time has come and gone, yet the nanites keep building.

    “Well, they do seem rather rambunctious,” said Professor Stratosphere.  “Of course, I’m monitoring them, but they seem to be adding gargoyles and spikes and such to the buildings.  They were never in the original blueprints, but they’re building them.  Adds a gothic quality to them.  Might raise tuition prices.”

    As to why they keep building, the Professor was still investigating.  They use the atoms from their surroundings to replicate the structure they rebuild, and the Quinton School sits on top a hill rich in many types of rock.  He could not estimate when they would stop.

    The Muskrat, who is the new headmaster of the school, could not be reached for comment as he was on a Peace Force mission in Quebec.

  • Quinton School for Young Superheroes Blows Up on First Day

    Quinton School for Young Superheroes Blows Up on First Day

    school
    By Buffy Bolivar

    It couldn’t even last one day.

    The Quinton School for Young Superheroes, which was reopened by the Muskrat yesterday, blew up on its first day of the new semester.  According to eyewitnesses in Carterson, Pop Man attacked the campus with explosive beach balls, one of his new explosive devices.  But the Muskrat, his staff, and his students were able to subdue Pop Man with relative ease.

    Reached for comment, the Muskrat only replied with “No comment,” but did later confirm that all of the students and staff were safe.

    Professor Stratosphere was the only staff member to comment on the attack.  “We should expect this each and every day, honestly,” he said through his filtered globe helmet.  “That’s why I’ve built these buildings out of nanites.  They’ll automatically rebuild themselves after being destroyed, so we should be back to normal in a few days.

    “Well, what passes for ‘normal’ around here anyway.”

    Pop Man was handed over to Britain’s MI666 so he could be returned to Broadspire Prison outside of London, where he escaped from a month ago.