The New Romford Free Press

Tag: Muskrat

  • Nanites Won’t Stop Building

    Nanites Won’t Stop Building

    school

    By Buffy Bolivar

    Now, the Muskrat admits, things are getting out of hand.  The nanites that Professor Stratosphere infused into the Quinton School’s buildings have been continually building new structures ever since the Pop Man attack from two weeks ago.   They’re threatening to overrun the school’s property line and spread out towards the town of Carterson.

    “We are working on a solution right now,” said the Muskrat in a written statement.  “We will do whatever is necessary to slow down the nanites before they reach the school’s property line.  Professor Stratosphere is working with ATOM Labs and Dr. Amazing around the clock to alleviate this situation.  In the meantime, both the faculty and students are working diligently to destroy any new buildings in hopes of forcing the nanites to rebuild them and stay on campus.”

    Indeed, residents of Carterson can hear the explosions from the Quinton School for Young Superheroes.  “Every few minutes you can just hear a large thud or kapow,” said Randy Scobel.  “I was just reading the paper this morning when I started hearing the explosions, and I spilled my coffee all over the place.  I could even feel my house shake on one of the really big ones.”

    Carterson mayor, Laura McKinley, has expressed deep concerns over the explosions and the nanites.  She said she objected to the nanites when Professor Stratosphere first told her about them, but since the school is outside the city limits, there wasn’t much she could do.

    “I told him these weren’t a good idea,” said McKinley.  “Obviously, I’m not a scientist, but there’s just something off about little machines.  I asked what would happen if they went rogue, and he assured me that everything would be fine.  I tried to look him straight in the face to get a reassurance, but his globe helmet makes it difficult to do that.”

    For now Mayor McKinley is urging residents to remain vigilant and ready to evacuate if they start to see gargoyle statues suddenly appear on their houses.

  • Quinton School Nanites Double School’s Capacity

    Quinton School Nanites Double School’s Capacity

    school
    By Buffy Bolivar

    The Quinton School for Young Superheroes is still infested with Professor Stratosphere’s nanites.  For over a week, they’ve been rebuilding the school from the Pop Man attacks and then adding onto the campus’s buildings, and now they’ve effectively doubled the school’s capacity.

    Dorms, classrooms, cafeterias, and combat rooms have all been duplicated by the nanites.  What was once a school fit for a maximum of 60 students can now house 120.  And the nanites have not stopped building.

    “Professor Stratosphere is monitoring the situation closely,” said the Muskrat, who has returned from his mission with the Peace Force.  “It’s nice that they’re so effective at their jobs and that they’ve doubled the school for free.  So far, we’re grateful.”  The Professor could not be reached for comment as he was busy examining the nanites.

    The students, who are suddenly finding themselves with extra space, are taking advantage of the situation.  Gale Bradley, a.k.a. Star Girl or Bright Woman (she hasn’t decided which she likes better yet), is enjoying the extra space.  “The dorms here are pretty much the same size anywhere else,” she said, “so now we all got another room, and we’re spreading out.  Some guys have been punching holes in the walls to try and make them one room, but it doesn’t work for long as the nanites rebuild the walls immediately.”

    In between classes, some of the students have been having fun blowing up the gargoyles and watching the nanites descend on the broken off statue and reattach it to the building in a matter of minutes, even from 400 feet away.

    Asked if they were worried about the nanites, most of the students just shrugged it off.  Matt Klutte, a.k.a. Sheer Man, said, “Look, I’ve had translucent skin all my life.  That guy over there looks like a frog-wolf, and that guy can detach his joints like a freaking toy.  Like, seriously, his arms just pop off like he’s made of plastic, and he can pop them in and out like nothing.  These nanites are nothing next to us.”

  • Quinton School Nanites Keep Building

    Quinton School Nanites Keep Building

    school

    By Buffy Bolivar

    The nanites of the Quinton School for Young Superheroes appear to keep rebuilding the campus, long after they’ve rebuilt the buildings that were destroyed last week.

    Pop Man attacked the school last week, exploding several buildings on campus, and was eventually arrested.  When reached for comment on the attack, Professor Stratosphere remarked that he infused the architecture with nanites, or microscopic robots, that would rebuild any structure within days.  Apparently, that time has come and gone, yet the nanites keep building.

    “Well, they do seem rather rambunctious,” said Professor Stratosphere.  “Of course, I’m monitoring them, but they seem to be adding gargoyles and spikes and such to the buildings.  They were never in the original blueprints, but they’re building them.  Adds a gothic quality to them.  Might raise tuition prices.”

    As to why they keep building, the Professor was still investigating.  They use the atoms from their surroundings to replicate the structure they rebuild, and the Quinton School sits on top a hill rich in many types of rock.  He could not estimate when they would stop.

    The Muskrat, who is the new headmaster of the school, could not be reached for comment as he was on a Peace Force mission in Quebec.

  • Quinton School for Young Superheroes Blows Up on First Day

    Quinton School for Young Superheroes Blows Up on First Day

    school
    By Buffy Bolivar

    It couldn’t even last one day.

    The Quinton School for Young Superheroes, which was reopened by the Muskrat yesterday, blew up on its first day of the new semester.  According to eyewitnesses in Carterson, Pop Man attacked the campus with explosive beach balls, one of his new explosive devices.  But the Muskrat, his staff, and his students were able to subdue Pop Man with relative ease.

    Reached for comment, the Muskrat only replied with “No comment,” but did later confirm that all of the students and staff were safe.

    Professor Stratosphere was the only staff member to comment on the attack.  “We should expect this each and every day, honestly,” he said through his filtered globe helmet.  “That’s why I’ve built these buildings out of nanites.  They’ll automatically rebuild themselves after being destroyed, so we should be back to normal in a few days.

    “Well, what passes for ‘normal’ around here anyway.”

    Pop Man was handed over to Britain’s MI666 so he could be returned to Broadspire Prison outside of London, where he escaped from a month ago.

  • Muskrat Reopens the Quinton School for Young Superheroes

    Muskrat Reopens the Quinton School for Young Superheroes

    school
    By Buffy Bolivar

    The infamous Quinton School for Young Superheroes is reopening tomorrow just outside of Carterson after being blown up in a tremendous superhuman battle seven years ago.  But this time, the Headmaster is the Muskrat.

    “People keep asking me if this is real,” the Muskrat said, “and yes, it is.  I know folks don’t think of me as a teacher, but the world needs a place like this for youngsters to go to learn how to be superheroes.  So I just dove in headfirst.”

    The Muskrat, whose real name is unknown, was hardly the first person to think of reopening the school.  Former student, Jed Lankins, a.k.a. Red Eye, tried to reopen it four years ago but ran into legal troubles with the original headmaster Professor George Quinton.  They reportedly had a falling-out, and Quinton refused Lankins’s request.  But the Muskrat was able to convince Quinton to let him reopen the school, and after a few months of construction, it is starting classes tomorrow.

    The campus has been a mess ever since it blew up due to the Mon-Star crash landing in the courtyard from space.  He eventually was beaten by Lankins, the Muskrat, and the rest of the students, but not before claiming several casualties.  This was the fourteenth time the campus had been destroyed in some manner in the school’s storied history.

    The Muskrat believes that this time the school can survive without being blown up.  “It’s going to be tough, sure,” he said.  “But I’m going to learn from the past and upgrade some things that were horribly wide open to destruction.  The main thing is having a safe place for kids to learn how to use their powers.”

    As for how he plans on fitting in his Headmaster duties with his time in the Peace Force, the ATOM Squad, and all of his personal missions, the Muskrat said, “I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember.  I think I can fit it in just fine.”