The New Romford Free Press

Tag: Kelsey Grammer

  • Kelsey Grammer Ends Hawaiian Curse

    Kelsey Grammer Ends Hawaiian Curse

    By Julia Crumpleman

    HONOLULU – After a series of strange incidents, actor Kelsey Grammer has ended the Hawaiian curse he was apparently under for a month.

    Back in May, Grammer fell into a cave while hiking with friends near his home in Hawaii.  What seemed like a minor incident led to a series of misfortunes for the actor, including stepping on dozens of rakes, insisting that his name was Dr. Frasier Crane, and, most recently, only eating tossed salad and scrambled eggs for every meal.  The source of these strange incidents was finally made clear when Grammer revealed that he had taken a Tiki idol statue from the cave and kept it with him at all times.

    “I was cursed,” the former Cheers actor said.  “I did not realize it at the time, but the Tiki idol cursed me just like it did to Greg Brady [of The Brady Bunch TV show, which did a similar story in 1972].  I did not think it was real.  It was a television show after all.”

    The former Frasier star realized the connection when his friend, Mark Platt, reminded him of the episode.  Then it was just a matter of finding an ancient Hawaiian burial ground to dispose of it to end the curse.  “After I convinced the TSA agents that I needed to bring my tossed salad and scrambled eggs with me for the five-hour flight,” said the former Hank star, “I found a native spiritual leader to direct me to the proper place, and we performed the proper ceremony.”

    “I can now say with full certainty that my name is Kelsey Grammer,” said the former Boss star, “and if I ever see another rake or eat another salad or egg again, it will be too soon.”

  • Kelsey Grammer Insists Everyone Call Him Frasier

    Kelsey Grammer Insists Everyone Call Him Frasier

    By Julia Crumpleman

    HOLLYWOOD – In yet another bizarre series of incidents, actor Kelsey Grammer is insisting everyone call him “Frasier” even though he hasn’t played that character since 2004.

    While doing an interview with Extra for his new show, Montgomery, Grammer told the reporter, Angela Michaels, several times to call him “Frasier” or “Dr. Crane”.  At first Michaels thought he was joking, but he kept insisting that was his real name.  Michaels became increasingly nervous throughout the interview.  “I didn’t know if he was joking or what,” she said during an in-studio segment after the interview.  “I mean, he was clearly talking about playing his new character in his new show, so it was like he actually thought he was Dr. Frasier Crane.  He just kept saying that was his name.  In all my interviews, I never had felt so uncomfortable.  It was just strange.”

    Michaels even showed Grammer a promotional poster of his new show which clearly states “Kelsey Grammer is” over the show’s title.  Grammer was perplexed and said, “But that’s not how you spell ‘grammar’.”

    Various people on the set have confirmed that this has been going on for a few weeks.  Most thought it was simply a prank at first, “like he lost a bet,” said one person.  But after several weeks, it became clear that it wasn’t a bet.  “No one has that much commitment to anything off-camera,” said one unnamed source.  “And especially when it has nothing to do with the thing we’re shooting.  I even saw him sign for something once, and he signed it Dr. Frasier Crane like it was something he’s been doing all his life.  First the rakes, now this.”

    A month ago, Grammer was hospitalized after stepping on several rakes like his The Simpsons character, Sideshow Bob.  He hasn’t stepped on any more rakes on set since then, but this is yet another strange turn in the life of a veteran actor.

    When the NRFP contacted Grammer personally for a comment, he said, “I don’t know why people keep thinking I’m this Kelsey Grammer person.  You have the wrong number,” and then hung up.

  • Kelsey Grammer in Hospital for Stepping on Rakes

    Kelsey Grammer in Hospital for Stepping on Rakes

    By Julia Crumpleman

    HOLLYWOOD — Actor Kelsey Grammer was hospitalized yesterday for stepping on “at least 40 rakes” while shooting his new TV show Montgomery.

    Just last month Grammer stepped on a misplaced rake at the Marty & Irene premiere in New Romford, reminiscent of his Sideshow Bob character from The Simpsons.  But now he seems to be stepping on rakes on a regular basis, at least according to people on the set.

    “It was weird,” said one unnamed source.  “This show is set in outer space, and there’s not an ounce of grass or leaves or nothing for miles.  Where are all these rakes coming from?”   Montgomery is a new show about a politician on a space colony who tries to keep the peace among the various alien life forms, and Grammer is the title character.  The show is filmed on several indoor sound stages and boasts that it casts real aliens for all the non-Earthling lifeforms.  Some people have suggested that the aliens are laying down rakes all over the set for unknown reasons.

    “Why would we do that?” said one of the alien actors through a translator app on its phone.  “Most of us don’t even have our green cards yet, and I didn’t even know what a rake was until I saw Mr. Grammer step on five of them.”

    On the first day of shooting, Grammer reportedly stepped on five rakes.  On the second day, he stepped on eight.  By the time he stepped on five in a row on day three, he was audibly grumbling much like Sideshow Bob according to those around him.  Eventually, after day six, he was admitted to the hospital for a minor skull fracture.  Doctors ran a series of tests to determine how he was attracting so many rakes, but the results were inconclusive.

    Grammer would not comment, neither would the studio, but the actor is expected to make a full recovery.

  • Grammer Hit by Rake at Premiere

    Grammer Hit by Rake at Premiere

    By Julia Crumpleman

    Actor Kelsey Grammer, best known for his work as Dr. Frasier Crane on Cheers and Fraiser, was back in New Romford for the premiere of his new movie, Marty & Irene, at the historic Wilmore Theater when he stepped on a rake and smacked his face with its handle.

    Grammer, who fell into a Hawaiian cave while on a hike a few weeks ago, laughed it off.  “I guess I better find Bart,” he said as he and his wife entered the theater.  No one knows where the rake came from, but it was likely left over from one of the gardeners.  There were no more reported rake incidents after that.

    Mary & Irene is a romantic comedy starring Grammer and Sarah Jessica Parker as a pair of lawyers forced to work together on a case when their kids take a joy ride in the car of a superhero, played by Wesley Snipes.  It was filmed in New Romford last year.

  • Kelsey Grammar Hospitalized in Hawaii

    Kelsey Grammar Hospitalized in Hawaii

    By Julia Crumpleman

    HONOLULU – Actor Kelsey Grammar was hospitalized today after falling down into a cave on the island of Oahu.  No major injuries were reported.

    The actor best known for portraying the role of Dr. Frasier Crane on Cheers and Frasier for twenty years was on a hike with his wife and friends when he slipped and fell.  Grammar, who maintains a residence in Hawaii, suffered a heart attack in 2008, and he’s been taking hikes to maintain his health.  But this fall was not what the doctor ordered.

    “We were just hiking along this path near his house,” said Mark Platt, one of Grammar’s companions.  “We’ve been on this trail several times, actually, but we took a fork that was new to all of us, and that’s when Kelsey just slipped and fell down some rocks.”

    Platt was able to find a safer route to the cave and found that Grammar only fell about thirty feet.  Grammar was lying on the ground, staring at a statue that Platt described as “the Tiki idol from the Brady Bunch Hawaii episodes”.  Platt apparently had to snap Grammar back to reality and helped him out of the cave.

    Despite some bumps and bruises, Grammar is expected to make a full recovery and will be able to return home soon.