The New Romford Free Press

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Kelsey Grammer in Hospital for Stepping on Rakes

By Julia Crumpleman

HOLLYWOOD — Actor Kelsey Grammer was hospitalized yesterday for stepping on “at least 40 rakes” while shooting his new TV show Montgomery.

Just last month Grammer stepped on a misplaced rake at the Marty & Irene premiere in New Romford, reminiscent of his Sideshow Bob character from The Simpsons.  But now he seems to be stepping on rakes on a regular basis, at least according to people on the set.

“It was weird,” said one unnamed source.  “This show is set in outer space, and there’s not an ounce of grass or leaves or nothing for miles.  Where are all these rakes coming from?”   Montgomery is a new show about a politician on a space colony who tries to keep the peace among the various alien life forms, and Grammer is the title character.  The show is filmed on several indoor sound stages and boasts that it casts real aliens for all the non-Earthling lifeforms.  Some people have suggested that the aliens are laying down rakes all over the set for unknown reasons.

“Why would we do that?” said one of the alien actors through a translator app on its phone.  “Most of us don’t even have our green cards yet, and I didn’t even know what a rake was until I saw Mr. Grammer step on five of them.”

On the first day of shooting, Grammer reportedly stepped on five rakes.  On the second day, he stepped on eight.  By the time he stepped on five in a row on day three, he was audibly grumbling much like Sideshow Bob according to those around him.  Eventually, after day six, he was admitted to the hospital for a minor skull fracture.  Doctors ran a series of tests to determine how he was attracting so many rakes, but the results were inconclusive.

Grammer would not comment, neither would the studio, but the actor is expected to make a full recovery.