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Werewolves Protest Lower Silver Taxes

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werewolfprotestBy Skip Daverman

CLUJ, Transylvania – After a proposal by the Transylvanian government to lower silver taxes, the nation’s werewolf community came out to protest today with an estimated crowd of 40,000 protestors.

Last week, Prime Minister Dracula and several MPs wrote a proposal to lower the nation’s longstanding heavy silver tax as a way to boost job growth.  The tax currently sits at 340% of the global buying price for silver, and that tax is applied to all imports into Transylvania and to any purchase of any product containing any amount of silver that is sold within the country.  Dracula and his fellow MPs, none of whom are werewolves, argue that such a high tax prevents high-tech equipment and medical supplies from being imported in, stunting economic growth.

“Silver is an important super conductor,” said Dracula.  “You don’t even realize what kind of machinery and electronics it is in unless you can’t have it.  If we are to progress in the 21st century, then we need to lower the tax so that all citizens can benefit.”

The proposal asks for the tax to be reduced to 100% of the global buying price, but the Lupine community made it known that any kind of reduction was a threat to their very existence.  Chants of “silver is death” rang through the crowd as many people held signs.  One sign read, “Why not reduce garlic tax, too?!”

“There’s a reason why silver was taxed so high,” said Dinu Nicolescu, werewolf protest leader, who also lost in the last election to Dracula.  “Silver is toxic to werewolves, and lowering taxes on silver for ‘economic growth’ is just a deception aimed at wiping out the Lupine people.”

Dracula flatly denied Nicolescu’s allegations, calling them “paranoia”.  “My job as Prime Minister is to help this nation to prosper,” he said.  “We are behind the rest of Europe by at least 15 years because of these ancient taxes that don’t mean much today.  We will take every step to prevent silver from being extracted from goods and formed into bullets just as we always have.  I will make sure that the penalties for such actions will not only remain but be strengthened by this proposal, and I will make sure every product containing silver will be labeled as such.  But the truth of the matter is that most of the silver imported will be small amounts built into the machines, and it would be too difficult for anyone to extract and reform into a weapon.”

As for lowering the garlic tax, since that is dangerous to vampires, Dracula said, “Do not be ridiculous.  Garlic cannot be made into machines.”

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