The New Romford Free Press

Tag: NRPD

  • Mysterious Thefts Continue Even After Dino-Day Disaster

    Mysterious Thefts Continue Even After Dino-Day Disaster

    By Packie Williams

    In what can only be described as adding insult to injury, the mysterious thefts plaguing the neighborhoods of Dukes have continued even after the Dino-Day Disaster.

    Andrew and Marshall Parks of Essex Town reported that their house was damaged in the Disaster, but nothing of value was missing.  “We were just getting settled in,” said Andrew.  “We patched up part of the roof and made sure our doors and windows locked like normal, and then we wake up this morning to find that all our jewelry and money was missing.  And the doors and windows were still locked.”

    Several houses in Essex Town reported similar thefts, all on the same night.  The NRPD are now investigating this as a superhuman crime spree.  “That’s the most likely conclusion,” said Police Commissioner Trombeau.  “Everything points to a superhuman using his or her powers to invade these homes and steal money and valuables from unsuspecting residents.  Whether or not last night’s thefts have any connection to the other series of supposed thefts from the past couple months cannot be determined at this time.  One of the perpetrators could a man with a mind-control device on his head, and the other could be a smoke monster with psychotropic powers.  It’s difficult to tell.”

    A ghost has also been proposed as a possible suspect as some currently inhabit the city, and they may be vengeful, as ghosts generally are.

    Regardless, who or whatever has committed these thefts clearly doesn’t care about the recent Disaster these residents have experienced.  “I mean, we were some really tiny dinosaurs,” said Marsha Parks.  “Really really tiny.  It was all we could do to not get squished.  And now, we think we’re out of the woods, and this happens.”

    “Sometimes I wonder why we still live in this city.”

  • NRPD: Hellena Tried to Restore Her Timeline

    NRPD: Hellena Tried to Restore Her Timeline

    By Packie Williams

    hellenamugshotwebThe NRPD have determined that Hellena stole an undisclosed item from ATOM Labs yesterday with the purpose of restoring her timeline.  And she likely caused the déjà vu that many people felt as well.

    Hellena is the evil alternate timeline version of superhero Titana, who was brought to our timeline during one of Titana’s adventures.  The circumstances of that adventure have never been fully disclosed to the public.  But Hellena, who sacrificed herself to Hades to save the Amazons from Napoleon and turned evil as a result, has been a fixture in our timeline for the past eight years nonetheless.

    The item stolen from ATOM Labs may’ve been activated inside the labs by Hellena or one of her associates, who were seen but not apprehended.  A source within the NRPD has indicated that the déjà vu experienced around the world was likely caused by Hellena trying to restore her timeline in the past.  So far all indications are preliminary, but given Hellena’s continued quest to return to her timeline, it’s a safe bet she was behind it.

    No one at ATOM Labs is confirming the suspicions, and Dr. Amazing, a co-founder of ATOM Labs, has not spoken since the incident.  Hellena is currently being held in Granite Prison in a depowering room.

  • Mysterious Thefts Continue

    Mysterious Thefts Continue

    By Packie Williams

    The mysterious thefts that have plagued eastern Dukes for the past two weeks has continued with an apparent new twist:  residents’ bank accounts.

    August Hills resident, Jerry Minor, went to his bank and cashed his savings account in excess of $12,000.  Security cameras show him entering the WinMac branch on 19th Avenue, alone, and leaving with two suitcases full of money.  But Minor has no memory of this nor of where the money went.

    “I thought I was going crazy,” he said.  “I was checking my account online and saw the withdrawal.  Needless to say, I was shocked and immediately called the bank.  When they said I came in and withdrew the money, I thought it was some sort of joke, but then I saw the video.  I swear, I do not remember this.”

    Minor’s account was the first of three separate incidents, all residents of the wealthy August Hills neighborhood.  Selma Negras reported withdrawing $8,000, and Charles Tobin reported withdrawing $9,000.  Both did not remember a thing.

    The NRPD has told all banks to be suspicious of any suspicious withdrawals, even if it’s made by the owner of the accounts.  Police Commissioner Trombeau advised all New Romford residents to keep an eye on their money and valuables during the investigation.  When asked if a superhuman could be behind this, he said, “I wouldn’t rule it out.”

  • Lightning Bug Equipment Malfunction Caused Explosion

    Lightning Bug Equipment Malfunction Caused Explosion

    By Chase Chapley

    lbmugshotwebNew details have emerged from the Lightning Bug’s capture last week.  Horace Wagner, a.k.a. the Lightning Bug, had acquired some new equipment while staying at the Verzatt Estates.  This new equipment apparently malfunctioned and caused the explosion.

    Wagner had set up an alias in New Romford several months ago, presumably to make connections with new partners.  Sources within the NRPD are not commenting on exactly who he was meeting with, but given his apartment at Verzatt Estates under the alias John Smith, it is assumed he met or was attempting to meet with rich clients.

    At some point, Wagner was given new equipment to augment his Lightning Bug suit.  It malfunctioned and caused the explosion at his apartment.  Wagner then fled the scene in his suit, followed by a small swarm of insects, and was eventually captured by Speedster.  The NRPD would not confirm what the new equipment was exactly, but they did confirm that it wasn’t nuclear or otherwise contagious.  ATOM Labs scanned the room and confirmed the results.

    Wagner is currently in jail, awaiting trial for several counts of destruction of property, illegal possession of advanced weaponry, vandalism, battery, and unlawful possession of mutated organisms.