The New Romford Free Press

Tag: multiplier

  • Pumpkin Pi Uses Clones as Henchmen in Latest Chemical Caper

    Pumpkin Pi Uses Clones as Henchmen in Latest Chemical Caper

    PumpkinPi

    By Muffy Borgeron

    The math-themed supervillain with a pumpkin for a head, Pumpkin Pi, robbed the Spade Chemical Plant last night with at least 15 clones as henchmen.

    Pumpkin Pi, who still claims he isn’t ripping off Sleepy Hollow and is simply the result of a weird pumpkin spice chemical accident, stole several gallons of unnamed chemicals from the Spade Chemical Plant, again.  Usually, he robs places with his Gourd Gang in tow, but Squash, Muscat, nor Atlantic Giant were with him.  Instead, he had at least 15 clones as henchmen.

    The clones all wore the same costume, all black clothing and a mask that revealed only the nose and mouth of each henchmen.  Facial recognition software wasn’t able to name any of the henchmen, but it did reveal they all had the same face.

    Sources inside the NRPD have said the multiplier from the quantillium robbery might be the source of these clones as breeding clones in a lab for henchmen purposes would probably be cost prohibitive for Pumpkin Pi.  It’s still too early to tell if these clones came from this multiplier or a different multiplier or if time or interdimensional shenanigans may be at play.  No matter the option, the NRPD have asked the Peace Force for help in the investigation.

    As for last night’s robbery, Pumpkin Pi used his math skills to calculate his attacks, and the henchmen easily subdued the guards within two minutes.  They wheeled eight barrels of chemicals into their vans and escaped before the police arrived on the scene.

    Pumpkin Pi is still at large, somehow, with a pumpkin for a head.

  • Multiplier Clones His Way Out of Police Custody

    Multiplier Clones His Way Out of Police Custody

    By Packie Williams

    The multiplier, who stole the rare quantillium shipment several weeks ago, was caught by the NRPD in a raid in an East Town tenement, until he cloned his way out of police custody.

    The raid by the NRPD began yesterday afternoon after a tip was received to gang activity in the Hoffman Tenement.  It’s not known who the police were going in after, but sources said that the multiplier was not part of the tip-off.  The police did not say who they arrested, but the only superhuman was the multiplier.

    Police barged in and began firing stun beams to subdue the alleged gang members.  After a short fight, the gang members, caught by surprise, surrendered.  The multiplier, whose identity is still unknown, was among those arrested.  The NRPD proceeded to pack the 14 alleged gang members into police vans, and it was at this moment that the multiplier began multiplying.

    In a matter of seconds, one man turned into 24, overwhelming the police.  He even sent three officers flying 15 feet into the air.  The multipliers fought some of the remaining officers, got into the police vans, and drove away.  Some multipliers ran away on foot, generating more clones to make their escape.

    Only one alleged gang member didn’t make the escape.  Sources identified him as Sam “Juggsy” Jalone, a low-level henchman and gun trafficker.  He’s been taken into custody for questioning.  Police are asking the public to be on the lookout for men who look the same (assuming they aren’t twins or triplets).

  • Rare Quantillium Shipment Stolen by Apparent Multiplier

    Rare Quantillium Shipment Stolen by Apparent Multiplier

    By Packie Williams

    A shipment of the rare space rock, quantillium, was being transported from the docks to ATOM Labs for research purposes last night, when the armored van was hijacked by masked men, at least one of whom was a multiplier.

    The shipment of quantillium, a rock from the Mark-9 Solar System, was meant as a gift from the Thranzxians to Earth for the Peace Force’s role in saving their planet from a swarm of telepathic insects last year.  Quantillium has many unique energy-absorbing properties that not even the Thranzxians fully understand.  The gift, which weighed no more than a few pounds, was to be examined and studied by ATOM Labs, under the supervision of Dr. Amazing.

    The quantillium was initially received in Paris and then shipped to New Romford by boat.  It was being delivered discretely at night because an ounce is worth millions on the black market.  Somehow, news of the shipment leaked, and three men surrounded the armored van using two semis and a forklift.

    A firefight followed between the guards and the masked men.  The guards reported that only three men were involved in the robbery, but more masked men appeared after they threw smoke bombs at the van.  The masked men, who were dressed in black like the men in the Winston National Bank robbery a few weeks ago, overpowered the guards, knocking them out and driving away with the armored van.

    The NRPD responded to the alarm sounded by the guards as the robbery began and chased them down Miller Road.  After winding through downtown for nearly 15 minutes, the masked men turned down an alley on 18th St and unloaded the shipment.  The police followed them on foot, and during the chase, one of the masked men split into two in front of an officer.  Then it was impossible for the police to capture the robbers as they kept multiplying.

    Unfortunately, the robbers made it out with the quantillium, but now that a superhuman is involved with the case, the Peace Force has assigned two members to search for the culprits.  Neither the NRPD or ATOM Labs would comment on the record about the incident.