The New Romford Free Press

Tag: quantillium

  • Pug Gang Walk Through Walls of DA’s Office

    Pug Gang Walk Through Walls of DA’s Office

    By Chase Chapley

    The Pug Gang, wearing special jumpsuits, walked through the walls of the District Attorney’s office last night and stole several documents, according to security camera footage.

    Pugsley Pepperdome, leader of the anthropomorphic pug gang, and three members of his crew don’t normally have the power to walk through walls.  It is assumed that the special jumpsuits allowed them to phase through solid matter.  How is not known as these seem to be the first suits of their kind, according to scientists.

    The Pug Gang stationed in the building across from the DA’s office, the Monarch Building, and fired a zipline across the street, not breaking any glass along the way.  They reportedly swung along the zipline into the DA’s office and proceeded to break into file cabinets and hack into the DA’s computer.  Authorities did not reveal what was in the file cabinets, but Pepperdome seemed to be looking for something specific.  The security guard, watching this on the security camera in the office, called the police.  He reportedly didn’t want to “tangle with people with the proportional power of pugs.”

    The NRPD surrounded the block and stormed the Monarch Building.  The Pug Gang grabbed whatever they could and jumped across the street into the Monarch Building, seven stories lower than where they hooked their zipline.  The jump was ill-advised for two of the Pugs.  While they phased through the building’s exterior, they unphased too soon and slammed into the 8th story floor.  They were incapacitated from the fall and were easily arrested.

    The other two Pugs, including Pepperdome, kept on phasing through the entire building.  They presumably went underground and either drowned to death in the Earth, landed in a subway station or underground cavern, or somehow slowed their descent through gradual phasing.  Whatever their fate, neither the authorities or Adonis were able to find them.

    Of particular interest is how their suits granted them their power.  Some scientists think quantillium could do the trick as it’s a rare space mineral with properties still unknown to Earth and alien scientists.  Until then, the police remain on the search for the remaining seven-foot pug men.

  • Multiplier Clones His Way Out of Police Custody

    Multiplier Clones His Way Out of Police Custody

    By Packie Williams

    The multiplier, who stole the rare quantillium shipment several weeks ago, was caught by the NRPD in a raid in an East Town tenement, until he cloned his way out of police custody.

    The raid by the NRPD began yesterday afternoon after a tip was received to gang activity in the Hoffman Tenement.  It’s not known who the police were going in after, but sources said that the multiplier was not part of the tip-off.  The police did not say who they arrested, but the only superhuman was the multiplier.

    Police barged in and began firing stun beams to subdue the alleged gang members.  After a short fight, the gang members, caught by surprise, surrendered.  The multiplier, whose identity is still unknown, was among those arrested.  The NRPD proceeded to pack the 14 alleged gang members into police vans, and it was at this moment that the multiplier began multiplying.

    In a matter of seconds, one man turned into 24, overwhelming the police.  He even sent three officers flying 15 feet into the air.  The multipliers fought some of the remaining officers, got into the police vans, and drove away.  Some multipliers ran away on foot, generating more clones to make their escape.

    Only one alleged gang member didn’t make the escape.  Sources identified him as Sam “Juggsy” Jalone, a low-level henchman and gun trafficker.  He’s been taken into custody for questioning.  Police are asking the public to be on the lookout for men who look the same (assuming they aren’t twins or triplets).

  • Rare Quantillium Shipment Stolen by Apparent Multiplier

    Rare Quantillium Shipment Stolen by Apparent Multiplier

    By Packie Williams

    A shipment of the rare space rock, quantillium, was being transported from the docks to ATOM Labs for research purposes last night, when the armored van was hijacked by masked men, at least one of whom was a multiplier.

    The shipment of quantillium, a rock from the Mark-9 Solar System, was meant as a gift from the Thranzxians to Earth for the Peace Force’s role in saving their planet from a swarm of telepathic insects last year.  Quantillium has many unique energy-absorbing properties that not even the Thranzxians fully understand.  The gift, which weighed no more than a few pounds, was to be examined and studied by ATOM Labs, under the supervision of Dr. Amazing.

    The quantillium was initially received in Paris and then shipped to New Romford by boat.  It was being delivered discretely at night because an ounce is worth millions on the black market.  Somehow, news of the shipment leaked, and three men surrounded the armored van using two semis and a forklift.

    A firefight followed between the guards and the masked men.  The guards reported that only three men were involved in the robbery, but more masked men appeared after they threw smoke bombs at the van.  The masked men, who were dressed in black like the men in the Winston National Bank robbery a few weeks ago, overpowered the guards, knocking them out and driving away with the armored van.

    The NRPD responded to the alarm sounded by the guards as the robbery began and chased them down Miller Road.  After winding through downtown for nearly 15 minutes, the masked men turned down an alley on 18th St and unloaded the shipment.  The police followed them on foot, and during the chase, one of the masked men split into two in front of an officer.  Then it was impossible for the police to capture the robbers as they kept multiplying.

    Unfortunately, the robbers made it out with the quantillium, but now that a superhuman is involved with the case, the Peace Force has assigned two members to search for the culprits.  Neither the NRPD or ATOM Labs would comment on the record about the incident.