The New Romford Free Press

Tag: Hellena

  • Hellena Sentenced to 40 Years

    Hellena Sentenced to 40 Years

    hellenamugshotweb

    By Chase Chapley

    After returning from a losing bid in International Time Court, Hellena was sentenced to 40 years in prison for stealing an experimental device from ATOM Labs.

    Hellena, an alternate timeline version of Titana, returned to New Romford from Paris after all nine Time Judges denied her request to be tried by them rather than New Romford City Court.  The Time Judges were not persuaded by her attorney’s arguments.  Neither was the jury, as they only needed five minutes deliberation to render a guilty verdict.

    This time, Hellena didn’t rush to attack the judge, largely because she was bound by more powerful restraints.  In fact, she appeared to be despondent during the trial, and she did not take the stand.  It’s possible Hellena was resigned to her fate, as there was video and pictures taken from ATOM Labs and Bayland Amusement Park, or she was trying to play on the jury’s sympathy.  Her attorney did open and close with her time-displaced nature.

    Either way, the jury rendered a unanimous guilty verdict, and Judge Caroline de Costa sentenced Hellena to serve 40 years in Granite Prison with possibility for parole in 20 years.

    Titana was also in attendance but didn’t take the stand either.  According to those in attendance, Titana and Hellena met eyes only once, and that was when Hellena was being escorted out of the courtroom after the trial.  Titana did not answer any questions.

  • International Time Court Rejects Hellena’s Case

    International Time Court Rejects Hellena’s Case

    hellenamugshotwebBy Chase Chapley

    PARIS, France – As expected, the International Time Court rejected Hellena’s request to be tried before them in a unanimous 9-0 decision.  She will now have to return the New Romford City Court for her trial.

    Hellena, the alternate timeline version of Titana stuck in our timeline, was caught several months ago stealing a device from ATOM Labs.  The nature of the device has not been disclosed to the public, but reports indicate it had time travel capabilities.  After being apprehended by Titana, Hellena was going to be tried before New Romford City Court before her attorney requested to be tried before International Time Court.

    The nine judges of the ITC were not persuaded by Hellena’s arguments.  Her attorney argued that all time-displaced beings should not be bound by a timeline in which they did not originate.  Hellena’s timeline involved the increased danger of Napoleon Bonaparte in the early 19th century, where he gained, according to her attorney, near godlike powers from the Ark of the Covenant.  She had to make a deal with Lord Hades in order to combat Napoleon, and this turned her evil.  “Her innate nature,” said her attorney, “is fundamentally different due to a fundamentally different timeline.  You would no more judge an alien from another planet by Earth standards, so why impose such sanctions on a time-displaced being such as my client?”

    The judges questioned her attorney for a half hour, specifically about the nature of the device she was accused of stealing.  This portion of the court transcript is classified, but the judges were critical of using their court to try someone for theft, especially when no time travel occurred.  After a ten-minute deliberation in their chambers, the justices unanimously declined the transfer request.

    Then Hellena flew at the judges before being restricted by the Time Bailiffs.  Hellena was sedated and returned to Peace Force Special Custody to be returned to New Romford.

    Most legal experts agree that trying to attack the ITC will hurt her chances of acquittal at New Romford City Court.

  • Report: Female Superheroes Fight Crime Better in ‘Practical’ Costumes

    Report: Female Superheroes Fight Crime Better in ‘Practical’ Costumes

    By Falco Rockbert

    In a new report published by New Romford University, it was found that female superheroes who fight in “practical” costumes tend to fight crime better than those female superheroes who fight in more “traditional” costumes.

    Looking over the past 20 years, the research division at NRU analyzed multiple data points with regard to female superheroes.  They analyzed number of arrests, arrest rates, bystander injuries, property damage, injuries to superheroes, and average battle times for female superheroes depending on what costumes they wore.  Controlling for factors like raw power, their research found that “practical” costumes played a role in how superheroes fought crime.

    “Normally, we don’t think about superhero costumes,” said lead research Rachel McDonnough.  “It’s just something they wear, and sure, it’s tight fitting and a little revealing, so how much can that really affect crime fighting ability?  Turns out, quite a bit.”

    “For female superheroes,” she continued, “’practical’ costumes, defined as appropriate clothing for the person’s power set and fighting ability without unnecessary embellishments, not including aesthetic elements, shortened battle times by two minutes, lessened property damage and bystander injuries, and increased their arrest rates by 5%.  In short, practical costumes are better for fighting crime.”

    Examples of “practical” costumes include Titana’s costume, which has supportive straps for her bust, and Speedster’s tracksuit.  Both were cited as examples of designs that were appropriate for each hero’s power sets and fighting abilities.  An example of a “traditional” costume, ironically, is Hellena, an alternate timeline version of Titana.  Her costume doesn’t provide support for her bust, so her breasts tend to flop out of her clothing.  Several superheroes had similar design flaws in their costumes including Extra Woman and her “boob triangle”.

    One hero who saw an increase in her crime fighting ability due to a costume change was Major Magnificent.  She changed her costume from what was essentially a bathing suit and stockings to pants and a form-fitting, long-sleeved top three years ago.  Her arrest rate went up 12% and average battle time went down 2 and a half minutes.

    The reason for the increase seems to be confidence.  “These women,” said McDonnough, “used to dress skimpy and, sometimes, seductively as a rule.  For some of them, that actually made sense.  Farrah Fox is a superspy, so her sexuality comes into play, but that’s not the case for most female superheroes.  We found that when women dress for themselves, and not men, they have more confidence and thus fight better.”

    “Plus, they tend to have fewer wedgies and wardrobe malfunctions, so that helps, too.”

  • Hellena Wants to Go to Time Court

    Hellena Wants to Go to Time Court

    hellenamugshotwebBy Chase Chapley

    The trial of Hellena has been delayed for another month because the defense asked for a review of the charges.  Primarily, they insist that since Hellena is a time-displaced being that she should be tried in the International Time Court in Paris.

    “A client like mine in a case such as this,” said Hellena’s attorney, “should not be subject to the linear temporal timescape such as our own and which this court represents.  When one is tried for a crime, one is presented before the appropriate court with the appropriate jurisdiction.  As such, my client must be tried before her appropriate court.”

    The International Time Court is reserved for very special occasions wherein the accused has caused harm to the timestream.  It has only be convened on eight occasions before (that we know of), but it could be a risky move for Hellena.  An acquittal here could be easier as the court’s laws are fewer and don’t cover theft, but a conviction would also mean life in prison outside of time (which would be an eternity, theoretically).  Hellena must know the risks and must expect a better chance of acquittal in Time Court if she is asking for this transference.

    The likelihood that this case would be transferred is slim.  The International Time Court chooses its cases on a very strict and individual basis.  Hellena has asked to be tried before them on several instances but has always been denied, mostly because she refuses to wear clothes that fit.

  • Ask Julia: Alternate Timeline vs. Alternate Dimension

    Ask Julia: Alternate Timeline vs. Alternate Dimension

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    By Julia Crumpleman

    Today’s question comes from Doris:

    Dear Julia, what’s the difference between an alternate timeline and an alternate dimension?  I keep hearing it on the news, but they don’t explain it very well, and nothing on the internet helps me.  Are they different from parallel universes?  Thank you kindly.

    Ah, that’s a tricky one, Doris.  I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t quite understand it all myself.  Dr. Amazing has a web-series that tries to explain all about the multiverse and the space-time continuum, but most of it flies over my head.  (It also doesn’t help that Dr. Amazing seems to only speak in eight-syllable words when discussing physics, but that’s another thing entirely.)

    But I do know enough that I think can help.  Basically, alternate timelines exist within our universe while alternate dimensions/parallel universes (which are the same thing more or less) are not our universe.  An alternate timeline is when some event in history went a different way which altered the course of our universe.

    For instance, Hellena was just in the news recently, and she’s an alternate timeline version of Titana.  In Hellena’s timeline, Napoleon had conquered all of Europe and drove the Amazons into Hades.  Then, she sacrificed herself to save her people and became possessed by demons (hence the horns, red skin, and impractical clothing).  One of Titana’s adventures brought her to this timeline, and somehow Hellena followed her to our timeline.  Hellena can’t return to her world unless our timeline is changed to resemble hers, which is another difference between the two.

    Alternate dimensions can exist completely on their own.  They run by themselves, and without a portal generator, we can’t change their universes.  Think of one as being about space and the other being about time.  It can get tricky sometimes, I know, since alternate dimensions can act almost exactly like alternate timelines, but it’s really about self-sustainability.  Apparently, there’s some variation between alternate dimensions and parallel universes, but then we’re delving into the deep, deep stuff.  I recommend reading some of Dr. Amazing’s books for further illumination.

    Happy trails, Doris!

  • NRPD: Hellena Tried to Restore Her Timeline

    NRPD: Hellena Tried to Restore Her Timeline

    By Packie Williams

    hellenamugshotwebThe NRPD have determined that Hellena stole an undisclosed item from ATOM Labs yesterday with the purpose of restoring her timeline.  And she likely caused the déjà vu that many people felt as well.

    Hellena is the evil alternate timeline version of superhero Titana, who was brought to our timeline during one of Titana’s adventures.  The circumstances of that adventure have never been fully disclosed to the public.  But Hellena, who sacrificed herself to Hades to save the Amazons from Napoleon and turned evil as a result, has been a fixture in our timeline for the past eight years nonetheless.

    The item stolen from ATOM Labs may’ve been activated inside the labs by Hellena or one of her associates, who were seen but not apprehended.  A source within the NRPD has indicated that the déjà vu experienced around the world was likely caused by Hellena trying to restore her timeline in the past.  So far all indications are preliminary, but given Hellena’s continued quest to return to her timeline, it’s a safe bet she was behind it.

    No one at ATOM Labs is confirming the suspicions, and Dr. Amazing, a co-founder of ATOM Labs, has not spoken since the incident.  Hellena is currently being held in Granite Prison in a depowering room.

  • Titana Defeats Hellena at Bayland

    Titana Defeats Hellena at Bayland

    titanahellenafightwebBy Packie Williams

    Supervillain Hellena was back in New Romford today, jumping several miles in just a few jumps before being defeated by Titana at Bayland Amusement Park.

    Hellena, an alternate timeline version of the superhero Titana, had apparently stolen something from ATOM Labs this morning.  NRPD and ATOM Labs are keeping quiet as to what the item was, but it was small enough to be carried by hand in a metal container.  After stealing the item, Hellena proceeded to jump several stories into the air (as she cannot fly) towards downtown.  She landed first just outside of PFHQ and then in the middle of the New Avenue and 4th Avenue intersection, causing pile-ups in the dozens in every direction.  Titana flew in from the north and knocked her alternate self into the Bayland Amusement Park.

    Witnesses reported that the two Amazonian princesses talked for several minutes before they fought.  They destroyed several small game stands and the carousel before ending up on the Ferris Wheel.

    Hellena’s fighting style was erratic and very limber, according to Diana Price.  “She was doing all these weird backflips and contortions.  She must have a super spine to do this stuff.  And then her breasts flopped out of her costume.”

    “I don’t know what world she came from, but superwomen need to support their girls like everyone else.”

    Despite her wardrobe malfunction, Hellena proved formidable for several minutes until Titana threw baseballs from a bottle-knock-down game at her.  Eventually, she went down with a fastball to the face.

    Titana waited for the NRPD to arrive and arrest Hellena.  She spoke with an office and flew away with the container in hand.

    Bayland Amusement Park closed for the rest of the day and indefinitely until repairs can be made.