The New Romford Free Press

Tag: Dino-Day

  • Grainger Tower Taken Over, Transformed

    Grainger Tower Taken Over, Transformed

    By Chase Chapley

    Walking down a couple blocks, I was talking to as many people as I could, though everyone is understandably frightened and confused.  In the middle of a conversation with a duck-billed dinosaur named George, I was alerted to Grainger Tower.  It has been taken over by the Dinosaur Queen and transformed.

    I’m not well-versed in architecture, but it looks like it came from The Lord of the Rings.  It is darkly colored, spikey, and giving off a strange glow from the point on top.  I can only assume that this is the source of the strange magic the Dinosaur Queen has employed, and it seems to have transformed the Grainger Tower as well as the human populace.  Since it is the home of the Amazings, and also the tallest building in New Romford, it would make sense for the Dinosaur Queen to set up base there.

    Unfortunately, I’m not able to take a photo of it at the moment.  I’ll try to find a photo to post, but if anyone can provide one, please send it to us.

    More to come.

  • NRFP Offices in Chaos

    NRFP Offices in Chaos

    By Chase Chapley

    I’ve had to leave the third floor of the Dumont Building, where the NRFP journalists and editorial board work, to the ground floor.  Building supervisor Ned Lambert, now a two-foot tall feathered dinosaur, told us the building was unstable since someone changed into a 100-foot long dinosaur on the eighth floor.  When that happened, the person crashed through several floors due to his or her sudden weight gain.

    Getting down to the ground floor was difficult for some.  The elevators and the stairwells were built for humans, not dinosaurs, and even walking through the halls was cumbersome for the taller dinosaurs.  Thankfully, the freight elevator was still working and was able to transport almost everyone.  I’ve heard that some people are literally stuck up on the sixth or seventh (or possibly both) floors and cannot exit.  Once on the ground floor, the taller dinosaurs had to exit out the rear garage entrance.

    The streets are in chaos.  Other buildings are experiencing similar situations as the Dumont.  I can see a pair of buildings down 23rd Street in rubble, and car accidents are everywhere.  Our photographers are unavailable to take photos of the mayhem, so if any readers of this can share photos, please send them to our inbox.

    More to come later.

  • Dinosaur Queen Turns New Romford Into Dinosaurs

    Dinosaur Queen Turns New Romford Into Dinosaurs

    dinoqueenweb
    File photo

    By Chase Chapley

    Twenty-two minutes ago, the supervillain known as the Dinosaur Queen emitted a ray of energy that turned everyone in New Romford into dinosaurs.  Twenty minutes ago, she released a video on YouTube admitting her actions and demanded New Romforders to “praise” her.

    “Praise me, New Romford!” she said.  “It is I, the Dinosaur Queen, who has transformed you into the beautiful creatures you are now.  You are now faster and stronger than you ever were before, and soon the whole world will be as such.”

    “Praise me, my new minions!  Praise me!”  She ended her speech laughing and then abruptly ended her video.

    Indeed, everyone, as far as I can tell from the NRFP offices in the Dumont Building, has turned into some species of dinosaur.  Large to small, flying to land-based, the diversity of species is wide-ranging.  I’ve turned into a raptor with feathers, but I’ve yet to determine which species I am.  The NRFP staff has also been transformed, yet I am one of the few still capable of using a keyboard.  My dinosaur body has “fingers”, and I will write as much as I can on my laptop though it is taking me longer to type than normal.

    The internet connection here is still running, but I don’t know for how long.  Out my window, I can see large dinosaurs have crushed buildings and downed power lines.  My cell phone is fluctuating the number of bars, so I would have to assume some communication towers have fallen as well.

    I will update this site as best as I can for as long as I can.  Stay safe.

  • ***BREAKING NEWS***

    ***BREAKING NEWS***

    ***BREAKING NEWS***

    Everyone in New Romford, at least Downtown, has been transformed into a dinosaur by some kind of energy beam.

    The extent is not known yet as this has just happened.  Our communication systems are spotty at the moment.  If you can read this, we will work to bring you the up-to-the-moment news on this unusual event.

    More to come…