The New Romford Free Press

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NRFP Offices in Chaos

By Chase Chapley

I’ve had to leave the third floor of the Dumont Building, where the NRFP journalists and editorial board work, to the ground floor.  Building supervisor Ned Lambert, now a two-foot tall feathered dinosaur, told us the building was unstable since someone changed into a 100-foot long dinosaur on the eighth floor.  When that happened, the person crashed through several floors due to his or her sudden weight gain.

Getting down to the ground floor was difficult for some.  The elevators and the stairwells were built for humans, not dinosaurs, and even walking through the halls was cumbersome for the taller dinosaurs.  Thankfully, the freight elevator was still working and was able to transport almost everyone.  I’ve heard that some people are literally stuck up on the sixth or seventh (or possibly both) floors and cannot exit.  Once on the ground floor, the taller dinosaurs had to exit out the rear garage entrance.

The streets are in chaos.  Other buildings are experiencing similar situations as the Dumont.  I can see a pair of buildings down 23rd Street in rubble, and car accidents are everywhere.  Our photographers are unavailable to take photos of the mayhem, so if any readers of this can share photos, please send them to our inbox.

More to come later.