The New Romford Free Press

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Some Neighborhoods Abandoned

By Buffy Bolivar It’s been several weeks since the Dino-Day Disaster, and most of New Romford has returned to functionality.  Power, water, and communications have returned, major thoroughfares have been cleared, and business has been normal for most residents.  There are still many side streets and buildings that need repair, but nothing that any New Romforder hasn’t experienced before. Even so, there are neighborhoods that are abandoned.  East Town, Jordan, and Virgin Heights were all… Read More

Dinosaur Queen T-Rex Caught Trying to Escape in Cargo Container

By Skip Daverman BOZEMAN, Montana – One of the Dinosaur Queen’s T-Rexes was caught by the Rocky Mountain Ranger inside the Museum of the Rockies after traveling thousands of miles in a cargo container. The T-Rex, a general in the Dinosaur Queen’s army according to its armor, was apparently riding in a cargo container of a train ever since the Dino-Day Disaster in New Romford.  It was not clear how it got itself into the… Read More

Tanya Morales Refuses Cybernetics to Become Advocate for Disabled

By Julia Crumpleman Wealthy socialite, Tanya Morales, daughter of famous actor Antonio Morales, is known more for late-night exploits than her social awareness.  But the Dino-Day Disaster changed all that as she explained to Oprah Winfrey for a special on OWN. “I was turned into a stegosaurus,” Morales said, “and I was stuck in my apartment on the 56th floor of the Walton Tower.  I was so big that I couldn’t go down the stairs… Read More

Dr. Amazing Fertilizes Future Farm with Dino Dung

By Packie Williams One of the biggest, and stinkiest, problems in the wake of the Dino-Day Disaster was what to do with all the dinosaur dung that was left behind.  Dr. Amazing has volunteered to use it as fertilizer. “Dung is nature’s natural fertilizer,” he said.  “It’s full of nutrients that plants need in order to grow, and with so much of it around, it just makes sense to use it in the Future Farm.”… Read More

New Romford Begins New Promotional Campaign

by Julia Crumpelman Sensing a need to attract new businesses and residents, the City of New Romford has unveiled a promotional campaign to highlight the good things about living in a city constantly besieged by supervillains. The campaign, “Life in New Romford,” will distribute posters, billboards, and television, radio, internet, and psychic ads all across the U.S., Canada, Mexico, and Europe.  “Understandably,” said Chamber of Commerce Head, Idara Mulholland, “people are hesitant to come to… Read More

Dozens Still Missing from DDD

By Buffy Bolivar It’s been weeks since the Dino-Day Disaster, and though the majority of New Romford has been accounted for, dozens of residents are still missing. The NRPD has put the number at 79 missing residents, mostly located in the Downtown region and any parts of other boroughs with tall buildings.  These residents likely were trapped after a building collapsed either during the dinosaur transformation or after reverting back to human.  Rescue crews and the Peace… Read More

Lightning Bug Trial Begins; Dinosaur Queen Sent to Federal Court

By Chase Chapley Today’s supervillain legal roundup sees two of New Romford’s most recent criminals in court.  Lightning Bug, a.k.a. Horace Wagner, was in New Romford City Court, which had been deemed functional by engineers after the Dino-Day Disaster, for the start of his trial.  Last month, Wagner is accused of causing an explosion in the Verzatt Estates.  He was later apprehended by Speedster on I-188. Wagner is being tried on eight counts of destruction… Read More