The New Romford Free Press

Tag: Speedster

  • Meeting Attendees Aware of Speedster Incident

    Meeting Attendees Aware of Speedster Incident

    By Stan Hopewell

    Reports have been flying in of Speedster chasing Lightning Bug through East Town.  So far, the Peace Force and Atlanteans don’t seem worried.

    The Lightning Bug, who may’ve blown up an apartment at the Verzatt Estates, was spotted somewhere in East Town by Speedster.  A chase has ensued, but the Peace Force members here at PFHQ have reassured everyone that she can handle it.  “Speedster is very capable of taking care of Lightning Bug on her own,” said Cloudwalker.

    Apparently, she was also supposed to attend the meetings today, seeing as she’s a Peace Force member as well, but was told to investigate the Verzatt incident.  Rumors had been swirling of the Lightning Bug, a.k.a. Horace Wagner, setting up shop in New Romford.

    Cloudwalker assured that everyone in and around PFHQ was safe.  More information to come.

  • Speedster In Town

    Speedster In Town

    By Chase Chapley

    SpeedsterSpeedster is back in town, and citizens are bracing for a reckless time.  The Fastest Woman in the Galaxy has a history of reckless behavior while visiting New Romford.  Last year, she was responsible for a 300-car pileup on interstate highways 88 and 188 while chasing The Dinosaur Queen.

    But it’s the little things that cause New Romforders to squirm.  “She’s just so fast that I don’t think she knows where she’s going half the time,” said Sussex resident Joanna Hull.  “She zipped right down my street and knocked off the side mirror off my car.  Didn’t even blink.  She just kept on going.”

    Frenchtown resident, Marlin Byrd, had a similar encounter three years ago.  “I was mowing my lawn when she ran across,” he said.  “She ran so fast, she dug her feet into my front yard.  There were these huge divots in there, nearly a foot deep.  She just ruined my front yard without even thinking about it.”

    While Speedster is a headache for some, she still has plenty of fans in New Romford.  Zack Holmes heads the local Speedster fan club and always sees a spike in excitement when she pops up.  “Sure, she gets a little reckless at times,” he said, “but we’re seeing one of the all-time greats here.  We have Adonis and the Amazings here everyday, but none of them are like Speedster.  She’s done so many awesome things that defy the laws of physics.  It’s truly remarkable!”

    Regardless of who you ask, one thing is unanimous:  make sure you’re current on your insurance.