The New Romford Free Press

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Montezuma Breaks Nilrem Out of ‘Magic Jail’

By Skip Daverman K’MANI REALM – Montezuma broke the mad magician, Nilrem, out of “magic jail,” as the K’Mani Realm is more commonly known, using his winged serpent, Quetzalcoatl. Experts have theorized that Montezuma has come back to life due to some sort of magic, if indeed it is the Montezuma of the Aztecs who died during the Spanish invasion into Mexico in 1520 and not a clone or robot.  The source of this magic… Read More

Montezuma Attacks Mexico City After Learning What ‘Montezuma’s Revenge’ Means

By Skip Daverman MEXICO CITY, Mexico – The recently resurrected Aztec ruler, Montezuma, randomly attacked many skyscrapers in downtown Mexico City today after apparently learning what “Montezuma’s Revenge” means today. Riding Quetzalcoatl, Montezuma whipped the giant feathered serpent’s tail around a dozen skyscrapers, smashing windows and injuring hundreds.  This time, he gave no speeches.  He just lashed out at random buildings for a half hour as the local police tried to take him down. Mexican… Read More

Montezuma Attacks Military Base, Gives Soldiers “The Runs”

by Skip Daverman MEXICO CITY — The resurrected Aztec king, Montezuma, attacked the Campo Militar No. 1 military base in the Mexican capital, again riding his giant feathered serpent, Quetzalcoatl. The attack came out of nowhere as Quetzalcoatl suddenly appeared out of the clouds above the base.  The Mexican troops did not have time to mount an effective defense.  The feathered serpent fired lightning bolts from its mouth, destroying tanks and garrisons in short order. … Read More

Montezuma Exacts His Revenge on Mexico City

By Skip Daverman MEXICO CITY – The late Aztec ruler, Montezuma, has returned from the dead, riding the giant feathered serpent, Quetzalcoatl, and immediately began attacking the citizens of Mexico City at random. How he came back to life is still unclear, but his wrath was not.  Montezuma was aware of the last 400 years and the ultimate destruction of his empire by the Spanish.  He apparently learned how to speak Spanish as he made… Read More