The New Romford Free Press

Your most superheroic news source.


Report: Female Superheroes Fight Crime Better in ‘Practical’ Costumes

By Falco Rockbert In a new report published by New Romford University, it was found that female superheroes who fight in “practical” costumes tend to fight crime better than those female superheroes who fight in more “traditional” costumes. Looking over the past 20 years, the research division at NRU analyzed multiple data points with regard to female superheroes.  They analyzed number of arrests, arrest rates, bystander injuries, property damage, injuries to superheroes, and average battle… Read More

Another Future Muskrat With Dire Warnings Shows Up in Present

By Packie Williams Ever since the invention of time travel in 1976, people have been using it to give dire warnings of future events to the past.  Today, another future version of the superhero Muskrat has shown up in Tompkins Square proclaiming doom and gloom for the future.  It’s the 12th future Muskrat to date. For some reason, Future Muskrat 12 had a braided beard flowing from under his mask and wore multiple necklaces and… Read More

Speedster Helps with Recovery, Wrecks More Things than Repairs

By Buffy Bolivar While intending to be helpful as always, Speedster ended up making things worse today when she “helped” with the recovery after the Dino-Day Disaster. The majority of the Peace Force was working with the New Romford rescue crews to remove debris from fallen buildings and to find missing people, the typical superhero work.  Speedster was on hand as well today, and her super-speed began tearing up the Industrial and University Districts.  “I… Read More

Peace Force, Army Rounding Up Dino Army

By Chase Chapley The Peace Force seems to be at full force now as they, and the U.S. Army, are rounding up the Dino Army.  As predicted, the battle is one-sided.  The Dino Army is simply no match for superheroes and long range weapons. My colleagues and I borrowed some clothes from a store (which we’ll reimburse them for) and followed the sound of tanks and smell of laser beams down 21st St.  A T-Rex… Read More

‘We Will Stop Her’

By Chase Chapley The Peace Force has finally released a statement on the “Dino-Day” incident.  It reads as follows: The Peace Force, while affected by the Dinosaur Queen’s magic, is working on how to best stop her evil plot.  Many of our members have either grown too small or too large to use their powers effectively without causing more harm than good.  Our greatest minds are formulating a way to both stop the Dinosaur Queen… Read More

Ask Julia: Alternate Timeline vs. Alternate Dimension

By Julia Crumpleman Today’s question comes from Doris: Dear Julia, what’s the difference between an alternate timeline and an alternate dimension?  I keep hearing it on the news, but they don’t explain it very well, and nothing on the internet helps me.  Are they different from parallel universes?  Thank you kindly. Ah, that’s a tricky one, Doris.  I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t quite understand it all myself.  Dr. Amazing has a… Read More

NRPD: Hellena Tried to Restore Her Timeline

By Packie Williams The NRPD have determined that Hellena stole an undisclosed item from ATOM Labs yesterday with the purpose of restoring her timeline.  And she likely caused the déjà vu that many people felt as well. Hellena is the evil alternate timeline version of superhero Titana, who was brought to our timeline during one of Titana’s adventures.  The circumstances of that adventure have never been fully disclosed to the public.  But Hellena, who sacrificed… Read More