By Stan Hopewell
WASHINGTON – The U.S. government relaxed its restrictions on clones entering the country today so that the clone of Mic-D can perform a tribute concert for the Dino-Day Disaster.
The U.S. government bans the creation of any new human, humanoid, or sentient lifeforms within its borders and also restricts the entrance of any clones created outside the U.S. After several incidents with clones of superheroes and supervillains, which have cost hundreds of lives and billions of dollars in property damage, Congress banned all new clones in 1993. Any clone created outside the U.S. can only enter on a very strict basis, usually for “extreme circumstances”. Clones who were created before 1993 are allowed to live as normal citizens but are closely monitored.
Allowing the clone of rapper Mic-D, who was created in Mexico, to enter U.S. borders for a tribute concert shows that the government is willing to relax its restrictions. “I don’t think a tribute concert counts as an ‘extreme circumstance’,” said legal expert, Maria Bramford. “What it says is that the American government is willing to work with clones and to give them more equal treatment, just like they’d give any original person.”
Some people aren’t pleased by the restriction. “It goes against all of our morals and ethics,” said John Jefferson of the Heritage Federation. “Cloning should not be encouraged in any way, shape, or form. There may be some ‘normal’ clones out there, and they may contribute to society as a whole, but they’re not natural.”
The relaxation seems to show the U.S. government is willing to work with clones as they do original humans in hopes of reaping the economic benefits that may come from it. Edward von Eschen, CEO of Eschen Technologies, cloned himself five years ago and was able to double his company’s productivity and increased its profits by 30%. “Von Eschen is the perfect example,” said Bramford. “That’s what the U.S. government ultimately wants. The profits from cloned elites to propel our economy into the future, but it’s a delicate balancing act as cloning is still a taboo subject here.”
“Plus, that Mic-D clone, a clone of a dead person, is just creepy, so I get that side, too.”