The New Romford Free Press

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Glowing Cocoons Found in Hudson River

By Chase Chapley

NEW YORK – Twenty cocoons were found in the bottom of the Hudson River off the coast of Manhattan this morning, and of course they were glowing.

A Circle Line captain saw a faint glow in the water and called the police.  The NYPD, along with Titana’s help, fished twenty cocoons out of the river.  Glowing green and then red, the cocoons were each about the size of a car.

The cocoons were taken to the laboratory of Dr. Kimiko Kashani, a professor of alien and mutant physiology at Columbia University.  “Early tests so far show no signs of hatching any time soon,” she said, “but until I run more tests, it’s too soon to say what’s inside.”  When asked about the glowing, she said, “That’s pretty normal for giant cocoons, really.  It’s just bioluminescence, you know, to scare off predators.  Nothing unusual, really.”

But not everyone is so convinced that they’re safe.  “Glowing pods?” yelled General Kurt Murdoch, outspoken 4-star general of the U.S. Army with questionable legal standing in said army.  “Last time I came across a glowing pod,” he said, “was 1988, and out came Omnimoth, a 200 foot tall psychic humanoid moth, who took out half of Kansas City.  And that was just the last glowing pod.”

“Well, yes, that was bad,” said Dr. Kashani.  “But that was a single gigantic pod, and it was radioactive, but most pods, or cocoons, aren’t like this.  These  aren’t radioactive, and we’re not getting any psychic residue from them.  I’ve been studying giant pods all my life, and whatever is hatching inside them sure aren’t going to be anything we can’t handle.  I also have the Amazings helping to study and contain whatever’s inside.”

“Burn them with fire,” yelled General Murdoch.  “Burn them with fire now!”

The NYPD and Columbia University aren’t going to burn them with fire any time soon while they continue to study and investigate the cocoons.  At the very least, they need to find out where they came from, said the NYPD. General Murdoch has been ordered to stay out of New York and New Jersey for the foreseeable future.