The New Romford Free Press

Your most superheroic news source.


Japan’s Giant Robots Find Greater Success with Adult Pilots over Teenage Pilots

By Stan Hopewell TOKYO – For years Japan’s Giant Robot Battalion has used teenaged pilots with great success but also with great failure.  After the Metatank incident of 2003, which left 83 dead and billions in property damage, the Japanese government switched over to adult pilots, and the switch has worked better than anticipated. “It’s been remarkable,” said Lead Engineer, Toshi Akiyama.  “Who knew that mature adults would make better giant robot pilots than teenagers?”… Read More

Peace Force Investigate 24 Dead Robots on Asimovia

By Stan Hopewell ASIMOVIA – After humans attacked Asimovia, leaving 24 dead robots, the Peace Force has begun an investigation into the attack.  Japan offered to help, but Asimovia declined. Asimovian officials wouldn’t comment on the investigation, and they’ve only allowed Peace Force members onto their island so long as they are robots or have pro-robot sympathies.  On-again, off-again PF member, Positron, joined the special investigation as he is the most prominent robot in the… Read More

Asimovia Attacked During Night Recharge Cycles, 24 “Dead”

By Stan Hopewell NAGASAKI – The island known as Asimovia was attacked last night while most of its inhabitants were in their recharge cycles.  At least 24 robots were “killed” by a computer virus. The assailants were humans who didn’t carry any electronics with them apart from several flash drives that carried a computer virus.  They reportedly dressed in all black clothes with face masks.  The assailants infiltrated Asimovia, though by what means is still… Read More

Japan, Asimovia Have Productive Meeting Despite Alleged Attempted Affair

By Stan Hopewell TOKYO – Representatives from the self-proclaimed island Asimovia and from the Japanese government met today in the Kantei, the official Office of the Prime Minister.  The meeting was called “productive” by both sides despite the alleged attempted affair between a Japanese official and a “female” robot. Today’s meeting was contingent on yesterday’s brief meeting in Nagasaki, where robots from Asimovia gave Prime Minister Shinzo Abe a gift in the form of a… Read More

Asimovia Brings Gifts to Japan Meeting

By Stan Hopewell NAGASAKI – Japanese officials met with the leader of Asimovia, Victor Priceworth, and five other delegates from the former “Robot Island” in a private meeting.  Priceworth was dressed in impeccable formal wear, looking as human as robotly possible.  Two of the other delegates were androids about the same size as Priceworth but nowhere nearly as human looking.  They were also wearing formal wear.  The other three were a walking robot from the… Read More

Japan Denies ‘Robot Island’ Legitimacy

By Stan Hopewell TOKYO – The Japanese government has formally rejected the legitimacy of “Robot Island” as a separate nation in a statement released today.  “Hashima belongs to the State of Japan,” read the statement, “and it unilaterally rejects the secession of Hashima to robots.” Despite being a leader in robotics, both normal and giant-sized, Japan still holds on to its centuries-old traditions, particularly the human-based ones.  They invented the first robotic armor and perfected… Read More

Androids Declare Independence on ‘Robot Island’

By Stan Hopewell TOKYO – At least 200 sentient androids have declared independence from the world, and in particular Japan, and have made a home for themselves on Hashima Island.  They have redubbed it “Robot Island.” The news came as a surprise to everyone, including Japan, who still technically owns Hashima.  The island was originally a coal-mining facility and was known for its concrete apartment buildings, but it has been abandoned for decades.  Recently, the… Read More