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ATOM Labs Scientists Get Stuck in New Adhesive

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By Muffy Borgeron

It was the stickiest of sticky situations at ATOM Labs last night, and that can be scientifically proven, too.

A team of three scientists, Carl Michaelson, Denise Detroit, and Margo Doll, have been developing a new adhesive for the past five years using recently discovered compounds from outer space.  Yesterday, they tested a new batch of their adhesive with the hope of using it in building materials to prevent damage from storms and supervillains.  After a few successful small scale tests, they tried a large scale test of pasting two steel girders together.

“And it worked,” said project supervisor, Daryl Freeman.  “Those girders held together all right.  They were just glued together.  No bolts or anything.  Unfortunately, the adhesive worked too well.”

The mechanical arms used during the stress test broke, swinging the steel girders over the heads of the three scientists.  The girder broke open the remaining vat of adhesive, spraying it all over the room.  Michaelson, Detroit, and Doll were caught in the spray, and they were glued to the control panel.  The adhesive hardened within seconds.

“Thankfully, they were all safe,” said Freeman.  “Dr. Detroit is in an awkward position, but Drs. Michaelson and Doll are up against their backs.  Got to be thankful for small miracles, I suppose.  The glue could’ve gotten over their faces.”

ATOM Labs crew members tried their best to crack apart the harden glue, but nothing worked.  Then, they brought in lasers, atom smashers, and even acid to try and break through, but again, nothing worked.  After six hours of attempts, Freeman called it a night and ordered food for the scientists.  Their families were allowed to spend the night in the lab.

“All in all, they’re in good spirits,” said Freemen, who declined media requests to interview the scientists.  “Could be worse.  But maybe we can get Dr. Amazing or Adonis in here to see what they can do.”