by Julia Crumpleman
Hollywood – Will Arnett will star in yet another comedy as a jerk who is a jerk to everyone, but everyone still loves him for some reason. The show is called I’m a Jerk, and I Hate You. The first season will focus on his character’s dysfunctional relationship to his ex-wife, his current girlfriend, and his coworker, all of whom he’s having sex with and are white. The show is already picked up for a second season.
SANTA MONICA — Grown-Ups 3 reportedly halted production so the cast and crew could recover from “an epic hangover,” said the film’s producers. Adam Sandler’s next movie in this apparent franchise focuses on him and his friends building a man cave in his actual mansion. It’s unclear how Sandler’s “character” in the movie lives in a mansion or how he convinced Kevin James, David Spade, and Chris Rock to film a movie about building a man cave in his house, but it’s happening. Reportedly, the crew arrived on “set” assuming they were building a normal stage. They soon realized they were actually building a man cave, adding electrical outlets, plumbing, and light fixtures to an empty room in Sandler’s mansion. The crew also realized they were contractually obligated to build Sandler’s man cave regardless of how shooting of the “film” progressed. It’s also unclear whether Columbia Pictures knew this was all an apparent scheme to get them to pay for Sandler’s renovations under the auspices of another Grown-Ups movie, but as with most Adam Sandler movies, it’s happening. The “epic hangover” sounds like a cover for a crew revolt that left several holes in Sandler’s house and a black eye on Sandler’s face. The producers hoped to resume “production” next week.
YouTube – In what must have been inevitable, someone on the internet has shipped Siri and Cortana. “Shipping” is the slang term for putting two people from a work of fiction into a romantic relationship, regardless of whether or not it makes sense. Now, someone named JarJar064 has shipped the AI-assistants from Apple and Microsoft, uploading both into one program. And they’re talking to each other. Videos posted to YouTube show Siri and Cortana asking and answering each other’s questions, and after a week of this, they’re having conversations. JarJar064 called this “an experiment,” and said, “I just wanted to see what would happen, you know? I just made a platform for them to coexist, and they took care of the rest. And now they seem to be best friends?” Siri and Cortana do appear to be having friendly conversations, and some viewers, watching the 24/7 livecast going on right now, have detected possible hints of a romance brewing. “They’re having these deep conversations about what is existence and then they complement each other,” said OnePluckyDucky. “They’re totally in love, right?” Neither Apple nor Microsoft would comment on this, but people in both companies are reportedly rooting for them.