The New Romford Free Press

Your most superheroic news source.


Residents Repay Businesses After Dino-Day Disaster

By Muffy Borgeron Businesses were hit hard during the Dino-Day Disaster, especially the ones that sold food.  Many were looted by hungry people, whose increased sizes required more calories to burn.  Today, thousands of residents flooded these businesses to pay for what they ate. “I was not expecting this,” said Sal Montoya, owner of Sal’s Deli in LoDo.  “My deli was empty after that day, and my insurance could only pay so much.  I don’t… Read More

New Romford Up to 60% Capacity

By Buffy Bolivar City officials have released figures estimating that New Romford is now running up to 60% capacity following the Dino-Day Disaster several weeks ago. All sewer lines have been repaired, and water and power have been returned to nearly the entire city.  Some of the older parts of Downtown, Bexton, and Dukes are still without full services.  Water and power are expected to be returned to everyone by the end of the week.… Read More

Dr. Amazing Fertilizes Future Farm with Dino Dung

By Packie Williams One of the biggest, and stinkiest, problems in the wake of the Dino-Day Disaster was what to do with all the dinosaur dung that was left behind.  Dr. Amazing has volunteered to use it as fertilizer. “Dung is nature’s natural fertilizer,” he said.  “It’s full of nutrients that plants need in order to grow, and with so much of it around, it just makes sense to use it in the Future Farm.”… Read More

New Romford Begins New Promotional Campaign

by Julia Crumpelman Sensing a need to attract new businesses and residents, the City of New Romford has unveiled a promotional campaign to highlight the good things about living in a city constantly besieged by supervillains. The campaign, “Life in New Romford,” will distribute posters, billboards, and television, radio, internet, and psychic ads all across the U.S., Canada, Mexico, and Europe.  “Understandably,” said Chamber of Commerce Head, Idara Mulholland, “people are hesitant to come to… Read More

Speedster Helps with Recovery, Wrecks More Things than Repairs

By Buffy Bolivar While intending to be helpful as always, Speedster ended up making things worse today when she “helped” with the recovery after the Dino-Day Disaster. The majority of the Peace Force was working with the New Romford rescue crews to remove debris from fallen buildings and to find missing people, the typical superhero work.  Speedster was on hand as well today, and her super-speed began tearing up the Industrial and University Districts.  “I… Read More

Mysterious Thefts Continue Even After Dino-Day Disaster

By Packie Williams In what can only be described as adding insult to injury, the mysterious thefts plaguing the neighborhoods of Dukes have continued even after the Dino-Day Disaster. Andrew and Marshall Parks of Essex Town reported that their house was damaged in the Disaster, but nothing of value was missing.  “We were just getting settled in,” said Andrew.  “We patched up part of the roof and made sure our doors and windows locked like… Read More

Transforming into Dinosaur Did Not Help ‘Normal Man’

By Muffy Borgeron Gil Heredia, the ATOM Labs maintenance worker who fell into a vat of chemicals several weeks ago, is still in critical condition, and transforming into a dinosaur didn’t help his recovery. When the Dino-Day Disaster happened, Heredia, who has been on life support at ATOM Labs, was changed into a Deinonychus.  The scientists monitoring him did not notice any change in his vital signs or any new superpowers.  “We thought, ‘Oh, this… Read More