The New Romford Free Press

Your most superheroic news source.


BREAKING: People Have Turned Back Into Barbarians on Halloween; Not A Prank

By Chase Chapley The NRPD and Peace Force are reporting that people who have come into prolonged contact with the Seaside Castle or any barbarian objects have turned back into barbarians.  They are congregating at the Seaside Castle right now, and even though this is Halloween weekend, this is not a prank. Ever since Vrog was defeated some time ago, various barbarian artifacts have been found across the city, primarily in Dukes.  The Seaside Castle… Read More

More Barbarian Artifacts Appear in Dukes

By Packie Williams The Seaside Castle wasn’t the only thing left over from Vrog’s brief barbarian empire.  Residents in Dukes are now finding barbarian artifacts in parks, alleys, and even their basements. “I was just doing some cleaning in my basement when I came across a bow and arrow,” said Shantae Williams.  “It was behind some boxes, and I’ve never taken up archery, let alone held a bow and arrow.  For a minute, I thought… Read More

Barbarian Castle Becomes Tourist Attraction

By Chase Chapley The barbarian castle in Dukes has remained in place despite Vrog’s magic no longer holding it in place.  How it remains is unknown, but the owner of the land it sits on is making the most of it. “It’s added a whole new dimension to the block,” said Karl Oppenheim, owner of the Seaside Shopping Centre.  “At first, I was devastated by having a castle in my shopping center, but after thinking… Read More

Apparently We All Turned Into Barbarians Last Night

By Packie Williams In another strange-yet-normal-for-New-Romford tale, the entire city and metropolitan area of New Romford magically turned into a barbarian kingdom, and we turned into barbarian warriors and servants. Don’t remember it?  That’s because the magic that turned us into barbarians also erased all memory of it from our minds and from the landscape.  But a barbarian castle now exists on the coastline in Dukes, and scientists detect high amounts of magic radiation from… Read More

Telepath Thief Pleads Not Guilty

By Chase Chapley Parker Doyle, the telepath who robbed dozens of homes in Dukes over the past several months, pled not guilty at his arraignment this morning.  He’s accused of 35 counts of larceny and 21 counts of unlawful entry of the brain. Doyle was captured by the Peace Force and NRPD a week ago after several months on the loose.  Professor George Quinton, the world’s greatest telepath, was tipped off to his activity through… Read More

Dukes Thief Caught, and He’s A Telepath

By Packie Williams After months of searching, the mysterious Dukes thief has been caught.  His name is Parker Doyle, and he’s reportedly a telepath. A tip from the most famous telepath of them all, Professor George Quinton, led the NRPD right to Doyle.  Quinton reportedly heard a story about the thefts from a friend and decided to investigate for himself.  “I had been out of town for the past few weeks,” he said, “so I… Read More

More Thefts in Dukes; Police: ‘We Will Stop This’

By Packie Williams The pressure on the NRPD to end the mysterious Dukes thefts is rising as another spat of homes were robbed yesterday.  In total, 59 homes have been robbed, and the NRPD have classifieds these as robberies. “These are without a doubt the work of a superhuman,” said Police Commissioner Trombeau.  “Someone is breaking into people’s homes and stealing their possessions.  We’re not sure who is doing this, but we will stop this.”… Read More