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Barbarian Castle Becomes Tourist Attraction

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By Chase Chapley

The barbarian castle in Dukes has remained in place despite Vrog’s magic no longer holding it in place.  How it remains is unknown, but the owner of the land it sits on is making the most of it.

“It’s added a whole new dimension to the block,” said Karl Oppenheim, owner of the Seaside Shopping Centre.  “At first, I was devastated by having a castle in my shopping center, but after thinking about it for a bit, I realized this was an opportunity in the making.”

Oppenheim has turned the castle into the Seaside Castle, a theme restaurant and party venue.  Employees are dressed in barbarian garb, and patrons are encouraged to dress up as barbarians themselves.  The courtyard has a souvenir shop and mock barbarian battles, and every Wednesday night, the Seaside Castle turns into an immersive experience.

“Wednesday nights are so much fun,” said Oppenheim.  “People come in dressed as barbarians or we dress them up ourselves, and then we have a huge role-playing experience.  We’ll have mock battles with foam clubs, sometimes we’ll dress up as knights and do a joust, and sometimes we’ll mix up the genres and do a zombie escape run.  Basically, we take advantage of having a castle and have fun.”

Oppenheim and ATOM Labs assured the public that Vrog’s magic no longer has any substantial effects in and around the castle, though some employees have reported feeling more aggressive than normal.  ATOM Labs said that some “residual magic is to be expected,” but that the effects are “not longterm.”  For his part, Oppenheim isn’t concerned.

“I’ve been here the most out of anyone,” he said.  “And I feel fine.  Why?  What have you heard?  Who are you talking to?  I want names.”

Perhaps not coincidentally, a pot dealer set up shop one block down offering a discount on their Barbarian Brownie for anyone who brings in a receipt from the Seaside Castle.