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Atlantis, Pacifica Brawl Over Food, Customs

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By Skip Daverman

PANAMA CANAL – A meeting between delegates from Atlantis and Pacifica ended on a sour note today, as the two sides brawled over differing tastes in food and customs.

Atlanteans and Pacificans each have their own regional foods and customs that have often been compared to the differences between New Yorkers and Los Angelinos, respectively.  A natural rivalry has developed over the centuries, and sometimes that rivalry has turned into animosity.  The hard, turbulent waters of the Atlantic has hardened its inhabitants, and the easy-going currents of the Pacific has engendered a more liberal and introspective populace.

Now, those cultural differences have turned violent, and over a plate of Narwhal sliders.

Some Pacificans saw the Narwhal sliders on the buffet table surrounded by Narwhal horns standing upwards on the table for decoration.  The Atlanteans had provided the food for the meeting, but their “treat” wasn’t appreciated.  The Narwhal is a threatened species, and the Pacificans objected.

Atlanteans tried to explain how Narwhal sliders are a delicacy that King Morn A’Ganor gives to all of his guests, but the Pacificans didn’t accept this explanation, reiterating the threatened status of Narwhals.  Sources at the meeting have differing accounts of exactly what happened next, but it is agreed that after an argument, one Atlantean made an offensive gesture to the Pacificans.  Then the brawl began.

Atlanteans and Pacificans fought in a massive food fight, punching and tackling each other.  Tables were broken, chairs were thrown, and a few tridents were brandished.  Somehow, no one was killed.

King A’Ganor and Viceroy Parr’Elle Montae were not present for the beginning of the brawl, but once they showed up, they ended the brawl with one word, “Enough.”  They each chastised their respective delegations and called off the meetings for the day.  One human journalist compared it to “parents sending their kids to their rooms.”

King A’Ganor and Viceroy Montae spoke to each other privately for a few minutes and retired for the day.  Tomorrow’s meetings were cancelled, and King A’Ganor promised to reimburse the facility for any damages.

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